Messages
by EsmeTyler
Summary: Where a group of students use the School Message Service to discuss break-ups, hook-ups, feminist uprisings and other not school-related subjects. ShinjiRei AU.
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to the Tokyo-3 Junior High online Messaging service!

This service is a school-wide 'question-and-answer' chatting service that operates on each built in computer or School-purchased Laptop throughout the School.

This service is strictly for learning only, you may contact a Teacher through this service to ask them a particular question or to receive any homework you might have missed or to request for lesson notes.

Any student caught using the Schools Messaging Service to discuss topics NOT related to School will be restricted from the service for a set amount of weeks. If a student is caught using the SMS to discuss topics NOT related to School DURING lesson hours, that student will be automatically suspended for a set amount of time according to the content of their inappropriate use of the SMS.

* * *

Messages

A 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' Alternative Universe fanfiction.

Composed and written by Esme Tyler

I do not claim any ownership over any characters featured in this fanfiction, all characters featured and even referenced to belong to 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' or their respective owners and corporations.

Accordingly since 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' belongs to Gainax I do not claim ownership over Gainax either. I wish I did own Gainax, 'Evangelion' is apparantly a MULTI-BILLION dollar franchise, I'd be SO rich.

* * *

**December 14th, 2016**

**9:18am**

* * *

To: YamagishiMayumi

From: KirishimaMana

Jesus tap-dancing Christ! Did you hear!

**Sent, today at 9:18 am.**

To: KirishimaMana

From: YamagishiMayumi

Hear what Mana-San?

**Sent, today at 9:19 am.**

To: YamagishiMayumi

From: KirishimaMana

THEY broke up!

**Sent, today at 9:19am.**

To: KirishimaMana

From: YamagishiMayumi

Mana-San we are strictly prohibited from using the SMS for spreading gossip and other topics Un-School related.

And this sounds a lot like gossip.

….Who are 'THEY'?

**Sent, today at 9:20am**

To: YamagishiMayumi

From: KirishimaMana

THEY Mayumi THEY! I mean THEM-

It's all over the school how could you not know who I mean by 'THEY' you anti-social brick wall!

Soryu dumped Shinji!

**Sent, today at 9:20am**

To: KirishimaMana

From: YamagishiMayumi

REALLY?

**Sent, today at 9:20am**

To: YamagishiMayumi

From: AidaKensuke

Hey Mayumi you're kinda jumping in your seat, are you having a seizure or somethin'?

You alright?

**Sent, today at 9:20am**

To: AidaKensuke

From: YamagishiMayumi

I'm fine! Just a little excited…

Aida-Kun please doesn't hate me for spreading gossip but Mana just told me that Soryu-San and Ikari-Kun broke up!

**Sent, today at 9:21am**

To: YamagishiMayumi

From: AidaKensuke

Holy Crap!

R U Serious! 8D

I don't hate you at all for telling me this Mayumi-Chan! Matter of fact I love you for this!

**Sent, today at 9:21am**

To: AidaKensuke

From: SuzuharaTouji

Hey moron since I sit behind you I can obviously see what you're doing and who you're messaging things to. What did you just say to make that Mayumi girl blush so much? She looks like she's having a seizure.

**Sent, today at 9:23am**

To: SuzuharaTouji

From: AidaKensuke

No! She's just excited!

Did you hear yet!

The Devil-Woman dumped Shinji! 8D

P.S- I'm planning a chance to totally manipulate his angst, theres this new figurine out that I want and Ol' Shinji will probably lend me the money since he'll be too depressed to think straight. You want in?

**Sent, today at 9:23am**

To: AidaKensuke

From: SuzuharaTouji

WTF?

That boy never tells me zilch anymore!

W&W man, Where and When?

P.S- I'm definitely in but he doesn't look all that depressed to be honest, he just looks like he usually does. Like an emotional girl.

**Sent, today at 9:24am**

To: SuzuharaTouji

From: AidaKensuke

No idea!

Mayumi just told me that Mana told her that Asuka and Shinji are officially OVER!

P.S- He's a Master of Disguise.

**Sent, today at 9:24am**

To: SuzuharaTouji, AidaKensuke

From: HorakiHikari

What are you idiots doing?

Concentrate on the lesson!

**Sent, today at 9:25am**

To: AidaKensuke

From: SuzuharaTouji

I swear, that woman has the eyes of a paranoid hawk!

**Sent, today at 9:25am**

To: HorakiHikari

From: AidaKensuke

Sorry Hikari-

But we were just talking about how Asuka dumped Shinji…

**Sent, today at 9:25am**

To: AidaKensuke

From: HorakiHikari

WHAT!

**Sent, today at 9:25am**

To: HorakiHikari

From: AidaKensuke

I'm guessing that Asuka didn't tell you in the same way that Shinji didn't tell me and Touji, I guess we three are the 'Betrayed Crew'.

All in the same boat here.

**Sent, today at 9:26am**

To: Aida Kensuke

From: HorakiHikari

Shut up, I don't want to be in your stupid boat.

Get on with your work and stop using the SMS to gossip like a pair of old ladies!

**Sent, today at 9:26am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: HorakiHikari

Rei! Did you hear?

Asuka and Shinji broke up!

**Sent, today at 9:26am**

To: HorakiHikari

From: AyanamiRei

Oh?

**Sent, today at 9:31am**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: AyanamiRei

So I heard you and Shinji broke up.

**Sent, today at 9:32am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

How the fuck did that get out?

Sigh…

I suppose everyone must have guessed, I mean he looks so heartbroken because (the wonderful, amazing, beautiful etc.) moi decided to tell him "it's over" at dinner last night.

**Sent, today at 9:32am**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: AyanamiRei

He doesn't look heartbroken; he just looks like he normally does. Like an emotional girl.

**Sent, today at 9:32am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

He's a master of disguise.

**Sent, today at 9:33am**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: AyanamiRei

He dumped you didn't he.

**Sent, today at 9:33am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

The story I'm putting around is that I dumped him, Shinji's all too happy to go along with it.

I can see your shoulders quivering Wondergirl,

Stop laughing it's not funny.

**Sent, today at 9:34am**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: AyanamiRei

I'm not laughing, honest.

I'm having a seizure.

**Sent, today at 9:34am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

Sure.

B.T.W thanks for expressing your concern over my fragile state (that was sarcasm)

I can be heart-broken! Where's my Friendshippy Hug?

I can express feelings of sadness too!

I can cry!

**Sent, today at 9:34am**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: AyanamiRei

Yeah.

You cried with laughter when Bambi's Mother died.

**Sent, today at 9:35am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

Fair enough.

So, I feel no sadness just a loss of pride, I guess, I swear I was gonna dump him last night! He just got there first!

But I didn't really care after he dumped me.

I was rather happy actually; I could finally put my theory into action!

**Sent, today at 9:36am**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: AyanamiRei

What theory?

'How long does it take for Shinji to suffocate from a Red-headed German wringing his neck'?

I can see the strangle marks Asuka. 'Didn't really care' indeed.

**Sent, today at 9:36am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

Ok so I got a little angry big deal, he survived didn't he?

**Sent, today at 9:37am**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: AyanamiRei

Maybe the reason he decided to go along with your 'I dumped him' story is the same reason why he accepted your offer to start going out in the first place.

FEAR.

**Sent, today at 9:37am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

Oh wow you're so funny, (sarcasm all over yo' face)

I'll have you know that Shinji decided to accept my offer of ME asking HIM out (because in today's day and age women can totally do that) because he was bowled over by my beauty, charm and All-round awesomeness.

P.S- You're loving this aren't you?

**Sent, today at 9:37am**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: AyanamiRei

And bowled over by the fact that you were both in the cafeteria at the time and you were holding a very shiny, sharp and threatening knife and fork in your hands.

P.S- Indeed I am.

**Sent, today at 9:38am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

SHUT. UP.

Anyways, back to my theory…

Since SHINJI was the one who dumped ME and not the other way around, I have deducted that the reason for this is-!

[Dramatic Pause]

That Shinji is in cahoots with YOU! Ayanami Rei, my friend and the woman who will name me Godmother of her and Shinji's first child!

**Sent, today at 9:39am**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: HorakiHikari

Asuka do you know what happened to Rei?

She just fell over in her chair.

P.S- I heard you and Shinji broke up, I'm guessing you're gonna start putting your 'Theory' into action?

**Sent, today at 9:39am**

To: HorakiHikari

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

No idea.

P.S- CORRECT.

**Sent, today at 9:40am**

* * *

**December 14th**

**6:13pm**

* * *

Welcome to the Yahoo Instant Message Service!

Online: FreudFan_6

Welcome ITotallyPwn!

ITotallyPwn: Yo Rei.

ITotallyPwn: I know you're online WonderGirl so talk to me! :)

ITotallyPwn: …

ITotallyPwn: Rei-Rei? Hello?

ITotallyPwn: …

ITotallyPwn: Don't ignore me, please?

ITotallyPwn: …

ITotallyPwn: Pay attention to me dammit!

FreudFan_6 You have just received a nudge from ITotallyPwn!

FreudFan_6 You have just received a nudge from ITotallyPwn!

FreudFan_6 You have just received a nudge from ITotallyPwn!

FreudFan_6 You have just received a nudge from ITotallyPwn!

ITotallyPwn: I'm gonna keep on bugging you till you give in...

FreudFan_6: What do you want?

ITotallyPwn: HA! You gave in!

FreudFan_6: Yippee for you, what do you want Asuka?

ITotallyPwn: Can't I check up on my best friend when she was rushed to the School Infirmary?

FreudFan_6: Not when it was your fault, I got a mild-concussion from that floor because of you.

ITotallyPwn: A mild-concussion? That was it? You would think that your head had split open by the way that everyone in class was going on about it, Hikari was going nuts.

FreudFan_6: Yes, I heard her hyperventilating as I came to.

ITotallyPwn: Shinji was pretty worried too y'know.

FreudFan_6: And?

ITotallyPwn: Poor soul was practically throwing people out of the way to get to you when you had your 'Mild-Concussion' Wondergirl. He carried you to the Infirmary as well!

FreudFan_6: He did?

ITotallyPwn: Well half-way there anyway, you started kicking whilst unconscious and you hit the boy in the hip. He opted to carry your bag instead after that.

FreudFan_6: ….

ITotallyPwn: And then, when me, him, Hikari and half the class (it seems you have a Fan-club Wondergirl, well done) were waiting anxiously outside the Infirmary, Shinji was pacing back and forth and clawing at the door like a husband worried about his wife during labour-

FreudFan_6: Okay that's enough Asuka.

ITotallyPwn: I'm just expressing the truth Rei, can't blame me for doing such an honourable thing can you? HA.

FreudFan_6: I can blame you for being stupid enough to cause me an injury, YOU and YOUR stupid message.

ITotallyPwn: Stupid? ME! I'll have you know that I sent such a surprising message to purposely make you conk out so that Shinji would express excruciating concern in order for me to supply the Backbone of evidence to my Theory!

FreudFan_6: Not that damn 'theory' again…

ITotallyPwn: Yes 'that damn theory again' I'm telling you Rei, Shinji is in love with you and you're in love with him too!

FreudFan_6: Shinji is NOT in love with me.

ITotallyPwn: He so IS, he's just not all that aware of it yet. B.T.W you didn't deny your OWN feelings did you? XD

FreudFan_6: I have slow typing skills; I am NOT in love with Shinji!

HorakiHikari has just signed in!

ITotallyPwn you have just sent an offer to HorakiHikari to join in the chat!

HorakiHikari accepted your offer!

HorakiHikari just entered the chat!

HorakiHikari: Hey guys, Rei I meant to check up on you! How are you feeling?

FreudFan_6: I feel fine Hikari.

HorakiHikari: Just 'fine'?

FreudFan_6: Okay, I feel amazingly healthy. Happy?

HorakiHikari: Seriously? No more Head-Pains?

FreudFan_6: No.

HorakiHikari: No bleeding?

FreudFan_6: No.

HorakiHikari: No hallucinations or Psyche-induced side-affects?

FreudFan_6: well yes actually, I saw a sandwich talking to a stapler.

HorakiHikari: REALLY?

FreudFan_6: No Hikari I didn't.

ITotallyPwn: LOL.

ITotallyPwn: Say Hikari, isn't Rei totally in love with Shinji?

HorakiHikari: Oh definitely.

FreudFan_6: Traitor.

HorakiHikari: I fight only for the truth I'll have you know.

ITotallyPwn: I told you so Rei, Rei and Shinji sittin' in a tree doing what they shouldn't be-

FreudFan_6: Shut that mouth of yours you perverted Nazi.

ITotallyPwn: -First comes Shinji then comes Rei then they're so tired that they can't play!

FreudFan_6: That is disgusting Asuka.

ITotallyPwn: As you can tell I'm rather proud of myself for that little ditty.

HorakiHikari: Say Asuka enough talking about Rei's love life, what about yours?

ITotallyPwn: Oh?

HorakiHikari: Yeah, since you're a free woman now any ideas about the next Main squeeze? A lot of the boys at school are quite sweet for you so you have a lot of options.

ITotallyPwn: 'They're not in love with me; they're in love with the idea of me.'

ITotallyPwn: I WAS hoping to fish around in the great sea of Rei's miraculous number of cousins.

FreudFan_6: As if I'd let you near any of my poor, defenceless army of Cousins.

HorakiHikari: I still don't know how your Aunt was able to produce 17 kids.

FreudFan_6: Aunt Lilith is a very competitive woman; her neighbour had Quintriplets so she decided to add to her brood of four.

HorakiHikari: By adding 13.

FreudFan_6: She has a lot of love to give.

ITotallyPwn: And your Uncle has a lot of little active buddies to give too.

FreudFan_6: Pervert, you'd probably molest one of my cousins if you had the chance.

ITotallyPwn: Only the male ones I can't help it that your family happens to be full of beautiful men Rei! Now, I was thinking Kaworu…

FreudFan_6: I think he might be gay.

ITotallyPwn: Now that's just a crime against Female-Kind.

HorakiHikari: What about Sachiel?

FreudFan_6: He has a girlfriend.

ITotallyPwn: Ramiel?

FreudFan_6: He's afraid of you.

ITotallyPwn: Sahaquiel?

FreudFan_6: He's declared himself allergic to women after his art teacher attempted to 'Touch him inappropriately'.

HorakiHikari: How do the beautiful survive?

ITotallyPwn: Armisael?

FreudFan_6: Armisael is 4 Asuka.

ITotallyPwn: Dammit and the rest are all girls right?

FreudFan_6: Correct, you could try them but face having Uncle Tabris and his Band of Overprotective Sons hounding after you.

HorakiHikari: Maybe that's the reason that neither Shinji nor Rei have dared try anything yet, due to the fact that Uncle Tabris and his band of overprotective sons would kill poor Shinji.

FreudFan_6: It's lucky that I don't actually live with them or else any male daring to come within two inches of me would be killed off by the WHOLE family.

ITotallyPwn: Are you kidding me? Since you live alone the Brady Bunch will have their eyes on you even more, possibly keeping a tracker on you. They could be doing a timed session watch on your Apartment each night recording the times you come home and making sure you're not having any hot passionate underage sex with a certain Ikari Shinji.

FreudFan_6 has signed off.

HorakiHikari: Well you obviously pissed her off.

ITotallyPwn: Nah, she probably went to go make sure she doesn't have a tracker on her clothes.

* * *

**December 15th**

**8:30am**

* * *

To: AyanamiRei

From: IkariShinji

Hey are you sure its ok for you to come into school so soon?

I mean you had a concussion Rei.

**Sent, today at 8:30am**

To: IkariShinji

From: AyanamiRei

A MILD concussion, I'm fine.

Now concentrate on the lesson.

**Sent, today at 8:31am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: IkariShinji

Rei this isn't a lesson this is roll call.

**Sent, today at 8:31am**

To: IkariShinji

From: AyanamiRei

…I see.

**Sent, today at 8:32am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: IkariShinji

Maybe that 'Mild' concussion did something there, anyway talking about lessons I need help in English…

**Sent, today at 8:32am**

To: IkariShinji

From: AyanamiRei

Asuka grew up in a German-American family so I think she has a better grasp on the English language then I do. Ask her.

**Sent, today at 8:32am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: IkariShinji

But Asuka is very impatient; I'll be dead by the end of the day if I ask her to teach me! And we just broke up so I'm more likely than usual to come under her 'daily doses of beatings'.

Besides you were Number 1 in the Last Exam.

**Sent, today at 8:33am**

To: IkariShinji

From: AyanamiRei

I was?

**Sent, today at 8:33am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: IkariShinji

Yes, you were.

So how about we meet up after school and you can teach me some phrases and such?

**Sent, today at 8:34am**

To: IkariShinji

From: AyanamiRei

I have Violin practice. Sorry.

**Sent, today at 8:34am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: IkariShinji

Oh, okay then never mind.

**Sent, today at 8:35am**

* * *

_New Alert!_

_Inbox (1)_

_You have a text from **The Girl**._

Yo WonderGirl, where r u? Its Lunch and u promised me some of that Taiyaki your Mass-Producing Aunt made!

_You replied:_

I'm in the Computer room on the third floor Asuka; I'm doing my Homework now so I can have free time after school.

_New Alert!_

_Inbox (1)_

_You have a text from **The Girl**._

Time to do wat? Stare at your floor? Lol, you have virtually no social life Rei. That's why u need me to sort out your relationships 4 u!

_You replied:_

I have violin practise actually, and I do not need you to sort out my relationships thank you.

_New Alert!_

_Inbox (1)_

_You have a text from **The Girl**._

Yes u do! If it wasn't 4 me u wouldn't know about u and Shinny-ding's relationship potential! And you do not have violin 2day U LIAR.

_You replied:_

What relationship potential?

_New Alert!_

_Inbox (1)_

_You have a text from **The Girl**._

U see? Your so clueless about relationships that u would probably not know if some1 was asking u out!

_You replied:_

Hang on a sec I'll be there in a minute.

* * *

**SMS Message History**

To: AyanamiRei

From: IkariShinji

Yes, you were.

So how about we meet up after school and you can teach me some phrases and such?

**Received, today at 8:34am**

* * *

_New Alert!_

_Inbox (1)_

_You have a text from **Hikari**._

Rei-Rei I don't know how you're gonna feel about this but I just heard on the Grapevine, that Mana asked Shinji out and he said yes. You ok?

* * *

To: AyanamiRei

From: AyanamiRei

Rei, you are a stupid, stupid girl.

**Sent, today at 1:33pm**

* * *

**Tokyo-3 Junior High Newsflash!**

Newsflash! Newsflash! To the students of Tokyo-3 Junior High I, Ace Reporter Aida Kensuke, can confirm that the School Soccer teams star Striker Asari Keita has suffered an injury and just might be unable to play in next weeks 'End of Year Soccer Tournament'!

Musashi Lee Strasberg, who was walking with Asari at the time, says that Asari was hit on the head by a cell phone falling at great speed presumed to have come from the third floor computer room. The cell phone fell and crushed a section of Asari's skull I've heard and, although he is fully conscious, it is unknown if he will be able to play next week.

Eye witnesses state that the cell phone seemed to have been thrown out of the third floor computer room window as if in great anger. Upon impact to Asari's head the cell phone broke and therefore we are unable to identify the cell phone owner.

* * *

**December 20th, 2016**

**12:15pm**

* * *

To: AsukaLangleySoryu, HorakiHikari

From: AyanamiRei

Look at them.

It's sickening, they're practically acting like an engaged couple.

**Sent, today at 12:15pm**

To: AyanamiRei, AsukaLangleySoryu

From: HorakiHikari

They've only been going out 5 days Rei.

And to be honest its only Mana whose acting like the 'Engaged' one, Shinji looks like a trapped lizard right now if that makes you feel any better.

**Sent, today at 12:16pm**

To: HorakiHikari, AsukaLangleySoryu

From: AyanamiRei

I know it's only been 5 days Hikari; I can't help but overhear that high-pitched screech of a voice AKA. Mana talking about how it's nearly their 'One-Week anniversary' I'm only 2 rows in front of them.

Look at her, draped over him like…drapes.

Cheap, slutty Second-hand drapes.

**Sent, today at 12:16pm**

To: AyanamiRei, HorakiHikari

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

Awww poor Rei-Rei, you want me to spread a rumour that Mana has an STD?

**Sent, today at 12:17pm**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: AyanamiRei

Thanks but I'm just gonna ignore the whole thing.

I'm turning around to focus on the lesson and be a good student; I'm not turning around ever again to observe their sickly sick activities.

**Sent, today at 12:17pm**

To: AyanamiRei

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

Oh don't worry; I sit in the row behind them so I'll keep you up to date on their 'sickly sick activities'.

**Sent, today at 12:18pm**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: HorakiHikari

Poor Rei, she's really down Asuka. I went over to her apartment on Sunday to investigate and she was lying on the sofa eating Ben and Jerry's and listening to Adele.

**Sent, today at 12:18pm**

To: HorakiHikari

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

Calm down Hikari the wonderful me has got a plan to make Rei just that little bit happier.

**Sent, today at 12:19pm**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: HorakiHikari

Asuka NO.

Knowing you your plan probably involves registering Mana into the Sexual Offenders List for bestiality.

P.S- Manas playing footsie B.T.W

**Sent, today at 12:19pm**

To: HorakiHikari

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

You obviously know me too well Hikari.

That could pose to be a problem in the future.

P.S- So she is, never knew Mana was that Hormonally-driven

**Sent, today at 12:19pm**

To: AyanamiRei

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

Watch out! Foot city!

**Sent, today at 12:20pm**

To: HorakiHikari

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

It is real unfair and horribly clichéd though, the day that Rei finally realizes that she's in love with that moron, said moron decides to go out with someone else.

**Sent, today at 12:20pm**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: HorakiHikari

She realized?

Did she confess?

**Sent, today at 12:20pm**

To: HorakiHikari

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

Well…no.

I just assumed that she's realized her love for that stooge since she's so obviously jealous and depressed over the whole Shinji-Mana thing.

**Sent, today at 12:21pm**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: AyanamiRei

That girl needs to be put down.

**Sent, today at 12:21pm**

To: IkariShinji

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

Yo Shinji, I predict Violent-Rei making a comeback!

And she's after your girlfriend.

P.S- You still coming to hang out with everyone tomorrow? Or will Mana be taking you shopping for ring sizes?

**Sent, today at 12:22pm**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: IkariShinji

A comeback? Since when was Violent-Rei ever here?

I think I can still go, and what's this about ring sizes? We've only been going out for 5 days!

**Sent, today at 12:22pm**

To: IkariShinji

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

You know, Violent-Rei.

Remember when she first appeared in the last year of Elementary?

I found out her parents were vegetarians and called them 'Weed-sniffing benefit scrounging hippies'? And for the rest of that week each day my Lunch milk was miraculously sour?

There was also that time in Seventh grade when I attempted to drown you on Swimming Day for losing my special Frog Goggles so Rei pushed me into the deep end.

P.S- What in the world is your girlfriend doing?

**Sent, today at 12:23pm**

To: AyanamiRei

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

HOLY CRAP.

She's nibbling his ear.

I SEE TONGUE.

**Sent, today at 12:23pm**

* * *

**Tokyo-3 Junior High Newsflash!**

Newsflash! Newsflash! To the students of Tokyo-3 Junior High I, Ace Reporter Aida Kensuke, announce that there has been an assault/Catfight in our humble schools classrooms!

4th Period Ibuki-Sensi's Eight Grade Math class saw the schools Lower Secondary female Swim-team Captain Ayanami Rei, an in-common look of fury on her beautiful face, lunge herself at the petrified Kirishima Mana, our schools stunning leading Soprano in the Choir. The two engaged in a complex, active (and unbelievably HOT) rough-and-tumble for a fair few minutes before several teachers were able to pull them apart leaving Ayanami with bruises and Kirishima with brutal bite marks up her right arm. Why would the seemingly stoic Ayanami Rei suddenly attack her peer? This Reporter is investigating into the matter.

* * *

To: IkariShinji

From: AidaKensuke

Dude, is Rei in heat for you or something?

**Sent, today at 12:31pm**

* * *

**December 16th**

**2:03pm**

* * *

Welcome to the Yahoo Instant Message Service!

Online: ITotallyPwn

Welcome FreudFan_6!

FreudFan_6 you have just received a message from ITotallyPwn!

ITotallyPwn: How's Public Enemy number One?

FreudFan_6: Bored, very bored.

ITotallyPwn: Wow, for someone who barley does anything already, Instant Suspension must be pretty lame.

FreudFan_6: I can't believe the Principal suspended me, after all the years I gave to that school! Bringing their Swim Team a good reputation, attending every single stupid Study Session they held on Sundays and not reporting to that Bleached-hair Principal when Kurosawa-Sensi confided in me about drinking during school hours!

ITotallyPwn: Kurosawa actually drinks during school?

FreudFan_6: You actually think it's natural that she sways like that?

ITotallyPwn: Touché.

ITotallyPwn: You should also think of the fact that you haven't always been the most obedient student Rei-Rei, due to your Inherited Hippie Nature.

FreudFan_6: 'Inherited hippie nature'?

ITotallyPwn: Remember when you set the Science Lab frogs free?

FreudFan_6: Touché to you.

ITotallyPwn: Thanks, and although you attacked a new species of Bitch you still attacked a fellow human being and therefore, on school grounds, can be charged with 'Indecent Assault'.

FreudFan_6: 'Indecent Assault'? They make it sound like I held her down and made lewd comments.

ITotallyPwn: She sure do got a pretty mouth.

ITotallyPwn: You still coming to hang out when we all get out of school?

FreudFan_6: Depends, does the School Disciplinary Board have jurisdiction on me outside of the School?

ITotallyPwn: Not that I'm aware of.

FreudFan_6: Then I'll be there.

FreudFan_6 has signed off.

ITotallyPwn has signed off.

* * *

_New Alert!_

_Inbox (1)_

_You have a text from **Rei-Rei**._

I can't believe he brought IT along.

_You replied_:

I can't believe you're texting me this when you're walking only 2 feet behind me.

_New Alert!_

_Inbox (1)_

_You have a text from **Rei-Rei**._

Sorry Hikari, but I can't risk that girl overhearing any of our talking; that girl has enough ammo as it is. Look at her, simpering over her bruises. And Shinji's falling for it!

_You replied:_

He pities her Rei-Rei, and you DID attack her out of the blue.

_New Alert!_

_Inbox (1)_

_You have a text from **Rei-Rei**._

You're not allowed to be my friend anymore.

_New Alert!_

_Inbox (1)_

_You have a text from **Asuka**._

Hey, I'm in that new clothes store 'Harajuka'. Send the patrol ova so that Rei and I can start plotting our evil plans.

* * *

ITotallyPwn: Ha ha ha ha ha ha

FreudFan_6: It's not funny Asuka.

ITotallyPwn: Ha ha ha ha ha

FreudFan_6: You're just as infuriating as IT y'know.

ITotallyPwn: ...That hurt Rei. Seriously.

HorakiHikari has just signed in!

ITotallyPwn you have just sent an offer to HorakiHikari to join in the chat!

HorakiHikari accepted your offer!

HorakiHikari just entered the chat!

HorakiHikari: Hey guys. It's like 10pm you should be asleep.

FreudFan_6: What's your excuse?

ITotallyPwn: Ha ha ha ha ha!

FreudFan_6: Shut up Nazi.

ITotallyPwn: I can't help it that I laugh at other peoples pain and humiliation!

HorakiHikari: Are you talking about what happened earlier?

ITotallyPwn: You bet I fucking am! In fact, I'll never stop talking about it!

FreudFan_6: Oh yes you will.

ITotallyPwn: Aw come on Rei-Rei, it's not every day your friend gets done for SHOPLIFTING!

FreudFan_6: I was NOT SHOPLIFTING. That Red-haired Bitch framed me!

HorakiHikari: Asuka?

FreudFan_6: No the other one.

ITotallyPwn: Indeed, apparently Mana put this 700 yen bracelet in Rei's pocket and sure enough when we tried to exit the store the store went 'Beep Beep Beep!' and King Kong came over to legally arrest our Little blue-haired cherub!

HorakiHikari: King Kong?

FreudFan_6: She means the Security Guard. Thanks for sticking around B.T.W Hikari.

HorakiHikari: I'm sorry Rei-Rei I got scared but you were ok right? I mean Asuka stuck around didn't she?

FreudFan_6: Only to watch me crash and burn.

ITotallyPwn: And what a fine sight it was.

FreudFan_6: I kept on repeating that I didn't steal anything but they wouldn't let me plead my case!

FreudFan_6: They got around to the CCTV at last and clearly saw that I didn't take one damn thing, and I SAW that IT planted that bracelet on me.

HorakiHikari: So that explains the glaring over your bean paste dumplings afterwards right?

FreudFan_6: That's right.

ITotallyPwn: Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

ITotallyPwn: I'm sorry guys but I really think I'm gonna up-chuck from laughing, later.

ITotallyPwn has signed off

FreudFan_6: That girl has no empathy whatsoever.

HorakiHikari: Oh come now, you know she cares. She's helping you wreak Revenge on Mana isn't she?

FreudFan_6: Who say's I'm gonna bother with revenge? Maybe I should just give up…I don't even know what I'm fighting for anyway.

IkariShinji has just signed in!

HorakiHikari you have just sent an offer to IkariShinji to join in the chat!

IkariShinji accepted your offer!

IkariShinji just entered the chat!

HorakiHikari: Shinji you should be asleep.

IkariShinji: What's your excuse?

IkariShinji: Besides I wanted to find out what happened at that clothes store you girls went to earlier; Mana told me that something happened to you Rei but she didn't elaborate. She was really worried though.

FreudFan_6: Sure she was.

FreudFan_6: It doesn't matter, nothing big happened.

HorakiHikari: Sure, nothing big.

FreudFan_6: Are you two coming to the 'End of year Swimming Tournament' tomorrow?

IkariShinji: You bet! :)

HorakiHikari: They're still letting you compete? Even though you're suspended?

FreudFan_6: I guess the school realised that they need me if they want to win against Central Junior High.

HorakiHikari: It's indoors right?

FreudFan_6: Yeah, it starts at 12:30.

HorakiHikari: I'll spread the word, night.

IkariShinji: Night.

HorakiHikari has signed off

IkariShinji: What time are you leaving for the contest? I can meet you at your place and we can walk there together.

FreudFan_6: Thanks but I've got to go somewhere before it starts so I probably won't be there until 12:10. You go early and get a good seat.

IkariShinji: Shall I bring a banner?

FreudFan_6: Better bring a foam finger instead; Asuka's already bringing a Banner saying 'Have my Babies!'

IkariShinji: Lol, Good Night and Good Luck.

FreudFan_6: Good night.

* * *

December 17th

12:39pm

* * *

_New Alert!_

_Inbox (1)_

_You have received a text from **Hikari**._

Asuka do you know where Rei is? She's up next. I'm pretty sure that banner isn't PG either.

_You replied:_

It's called creativity Hikari, Rei's just coming out of the changing room; obviously you can't see that because you have a crap seat. HA. Do you know where Shinji is? I saved him a seat so we could initiate a Crowd Wave to cheer on Rei.

_New Alert!_

_Inbox (1)_

_You have received a text from **Hikari**._

I don't know where he is but I can see Rei, Obviously she's wondering the same thing as you cause she looks pretty confused.

_You replied:_

Rei can look something other than blank? He's obviously a little late.

_New Alert!_

_Inbox (1)_

_You have received a text from **Hikari**._

Shinji is never late. Maybe she's just a little put out; let's hope she gets over it.

* * *

Online: FreudFan_6, IkariShinji

FreudFan_6: I cannot believe you actually missed my swimming contest!

FreudFan_6: You have never missed a SINGLE ONE of my swimming contests!

FreudFan_6: Not even when you caught the Flu!

FreudFan_6: I still won but just barely because I was so distracted because YOU weren't there!

FreudFan_6: Asuka had to initiate a Crowd Wave all by herself!

FreudFan_6: Well, explain yourself Ikari!

IkariShinji: Why don't you explain yourself Ayanami!

FreudFan_6: And what is that supposed to mean?

IkariShinji: I missed your contest because Mana was admitted to hospital; she broke her ankle because she fell down the stairs.

FreudFan_6: Really? Is she alright?

IkariShinji: She said you pushed her Rei.

FreudFan_6: WHAT.

FreudFan_6: You can't honestly believe that can you?

IkariShinji: She says that you turned up at her house and said you wanted to apologise then you pushed her down the kitchen stairs, you did go somewhere before your contest.

FreudFan_6: Uh, yes, I had to go to a pharmacy for certain products, not to your girlfriend's house to break her neck! You can't honestly believe this!

IkariShinji: What products?

FreudFan_6: That doesn't need to be any of YOUR business.

IkariShinji: No seriously, WHAT SORT OF PRODUCTS did you need to buy from a PHARMACY before an athletics CONTEST? Steroids?

FreudFan_6: No you prick, for your information, I was buying extra-absorbant TAMPONS becuase my period was supposed to start TODAY and I didn't want to create the FUCKING RED SEA at the swimming contest.

IkariShinji: TMI.

FreudFan_6: Well YOU DID ASK.

IkariShinji: Look, I don't know Rei; you've been difficult for a while now…

FreudFan_6: I'm sorry, DIFFICULT?

FreudFan_6: You can't be serious…

FreudFan_6: You're going to believe your girlfriend, who you've been going out with for a WEEK, over your friend who you've known for three YEARS?

IkariShinji: I think it's difficult to believe the so called friend who attacked my Girlfriend at school last Tuesday!

FreudFan_6: I didn't break your tweed of a girlfriend's ankle; she probably fell down the stairs herself! She's not exactly the brightest bulb in the box!

IkariShinji: Don't you know how to be nice?

FreudFan_6: Don't YOU know how to tell when your girlfriends lying!

FreudFan_6: Why even ask that question, it's obvious that you don't.

FreudFan_6: It's also obvious that you don't know how to properly appreciate a friendship.

FreudFan_6: Well screw the friendship, screw your girlfriend's ankle and screw you Ikari. I hope you and your insane girlfriend are happy together.

FreudFan_6 has signed off

* * *

_New Alert!_

_Inbox (1)_

_You have a text from **Wondergirl**._

Asuka, I feel sick.

* * *

Welcome to the Yahoo Email Service!

Subject: Happy Christmas!

**From: Asuka-inYoFace**

**To: HorakiHikari. AyanamiRei. IkariShinji. Aida-McLovin. SuzuharaTouji**

Merry Christmas bitches!

Thank goodness Christmas was on a Sunday this year; I could relax and read the copy of 'Velvet Underground' my Aunt Susan got me. I'm being serious; she gave me Erotica for Christmas.

Your country kinda sucks B.T.W since you're only allowed to get Christmas Day off if it happens to be on a Sunday, any other day and I'd be seeing all your ugly faces at School today instead! So unfair! Back in Germany we got at least 2 weeks off school for Christmas!

Don't get too drunk!

Love Asuka

**From: SuzuharaTouji**

**To: Aida-McLovin. IkariShinji. HorakiHikari. AyanamiRei. Asuka-inYoFace**

Happy Christmas guys!

Eat, drink and be merry, all that crap.

Touji.

**From: HorakiHikari**

**To: AyanamiRei. Asuka-inYoFace. IkariShinji. SuzuharaTouji. Aida-McLovin**

**Cc: Tokyo-3JuniorHighStudentContacts**

Merry Christmas everyone,

Even though most of us celebrate it as a commercial event, Happy Birthday Jesus!

See you all at School tomorrow!

Horaki Hikari

**From: Aida-McLovin**

**To: SuzuharaTouji. IkariShinji. AyanamiRei. Asuka-inYoFace. HorakiHikari. YamagishiMayumi**

Yo Ladies, Gentlemen and Asuka!

Merry Noel lets watch some Christmas Specials and eat some cake!

From (the one, the only) Kensuke!

**From: AyanamiRei**

**To: HorakiHikari. Asuka-inYoFace. Aida-McLovin. SuzuharaTouji**

Merry Christmas.

Rei.

**From: IkariShinji**

**To: SuzuharaTouji. Asuka-inYoFace. Aida-McLovin. HorakiHikari. KirishimaMana**

Merry Christmas.

Shinji

* * *

**December 26th**

**8:31am**

* * *

To: HorakiHikari

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

Whose bright idea was it to keep these two apart for this long? Who thought that the absence would give them time to cool off?

You couldn't cut through this tension with a freakin' chainsaw.

Seriously can't you just feel the iciness between those two?

**Sent, today at 8:31am**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: HorakiHikari

I can feel it Asuka, I truly can.

And the worst thing is Rei and Shinji haven't even attempted to confront each other about this, instead of achieving closure they're simply building up more and more frustration by not talking to each other about their problems.

**Sent, today at 8:31am**

To: HorakiHikari

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

Stop being so Wikipedia about it Hikari, this isn't a physiological matter, they're both simply pissed at each other, and they've never been in this place before, as far as I can remember Shinji and Rei have never argued so, now that they have, they have no idea how to deal with it.

But I will give you kudos on the whole 'Building up frustration' thing; they need to vent that frustration somehow.

Give them a dark room and some aphrodisiacs and they'll be bright and chipper by tomorrow! ;)

**Sent, today at 8:32am**

To: AsukaLangleySoryu

From: HorakiHikari

Tell your Aunt that she has doomed us all for giving you that damn book for Christmas.

**Sent, today at 8:32am**

* * *

**December 27th**

**12:14pm**

* * *

To: SuzuharaTouji

From: AidaKensuke

Man, check out Shinji,

I've haven't seen him this depressed since Asuka sold his Spider-man bike in Second Grade.

**Sent, today at 12:14pm**

To: AidaKensuke

From: SuzuharaTouji

I know, wasn't this what we expected him to be like when he and the Devil-Woman broke up? I guess only 'breaking up' with Rei could inflict this much depression. She was his best female friend I suppose, ever since she pushed Asuka in the Deep End during Seventh Grade.

**Sent, today at 12:15pm**

To: SuzuharaTouji

From: AidaKensuke

Yeah, Rei doesn't seem to be faring all that well either.

**Sent, today at 12:15pm**

To: YamagishiMayumi

From: AidaKensuke

Hey Mayumi, you sit behind Rei so would you mind poking her please?

Just to make sure she's alive? She doesn't seem to be moving.

**Sent, today at 12:16am**

To: AidaKensuke

From: YamagishiMayumi

I can assure you that Ayanami-San is 100% alive Aida-Kun.

Please don't ask me to do that again I nearly got my finger bitten off,

Ayanami-San has been so on-edge recently.

By the way I have a letter for your friend Ikari-Kun? It's from Mana, she asked me to deliver it for her.

Do you mind giving it to him for me? I have to leave for a Doctor's Appointment in 2 minutes.

**Sent, today at 12:17am**

* * *

_Dear Ikari-Kun_

_We've only met each other a few times and I haven't been able to properly introduce myself, my name is Kirishima Manami I believe that you've been dating my youngest daughter Mana._

_As I'm sure you know Mana's ankle was recently fractured, not seriously thank God, and I'm sure that you know that this injury was caused by a fall down the stairs. However I believe that you have not been given all the true details of how this accident came to be._

_Whilst Mana has not confided in me all the version of her accident she told you, she has told me that she lied and that she is very sorry. Mana's ankle injury came to be because of a simple accident; Mana tripped over our cat Mi-Mi and was sent plummeting down the stairs. I and Mana's Father believe that, due to a mix of Mana's dishonesty and her rather brash attitude lately, that it would be best if the both of you were to stop seeing each other for the time being._

_On behalf of Mana and my family I apologize for my Daughters dishonesty,_

_Good luck in the New Year._

_Yours Sincerely_

_Kirishima Manami_

* * *

To: SuzuharaTouji

From: AidaKensuke

Dude you need to read this letter that Mayumi gave me to give to Shinji.

Shinji got dumped by Mana's Mom! XD

**Sent, today at 12:23am**

* * *

To: AyanamiRei

From: IkariShinji

Rei, I'm writing this via the SMS because I'm too much of a wimp to walk up to you in person, also I'm afraid that you'll turn and walk away at the very sight of me so…

I'm also pretty sure that'll you'll read this since you always do homework in lunches so you can do your own thing when you get home (reading Encyclopaedias or watching 'Beyond the valley of the Dolls' like you usually do, I swear you must know that movie off by heart now).

I'm sorry Rei, I truly messed up. I didn't believe you when you said you had nothing to do with breaking Mana's ankle and I know that it was a mistake. I also know that I really don't deserve to be talking/typing to you so maybe I should skip all that gushy, grovelling stuff that I know you hate and move onto the specifics that you'll probably appreciate more. I hate that we've been fighting for the past few weeks, I hate not being able to talk to you, I hate doing and saying things that make you hate me. I hate making you feel like you don't want to be around me, or with me.

I really can't imagine a life without you, and I mean it I really can't. I've pictured different scenarios in my head like Graduation, University and Asuka's first Prison Break and whenever I try to imagine any of those scenarios without you in them it feels really, really strange and pointless and I usually end up in the corner of my room mumbling Self-hate. Even though you are quite possibly the least optimistic person on Earth Rei you, yourself make me feel like everything is going to be alright. That sounds like grovelling, gushy stuff doesn't it? Sorry. The point is I can't imagine my life without you in it and I prefer not to.

I can imagine scenarios in which you are there but I'm not, it's a happy life and you're full of ambition and thankfulness for 'getting rid of that weedy kid back in Eighth Grade, what was his name again?' I suppose its ok because you're happy and I like it when you're happy. But then in the scenario you're suddenly getting married to some nameless man (who looks like a real jerk by the way) and of course I really don't like it and end up in the corner of my room mumbling Self-hate. And I get that way because, I don't like imagining you with someone else, and I don't want you to get married to some guy…and then I'm like who am I to dictate who you marry or have a relationship with, I mean, I don't OWN you but still I always feel really, really sad when I do think about it. I can guess that you're feeling pretty uncomfortable right now but don't stop reading please, I'm not finished yet.

I really like you Rei.

And I mean I really, REALLY like you.

I'm sorry I wasn't able to say that in actual words to you, that's the way you deserve it when someone confesses at the very least. You actually deserve roses and all these promises and a skywriter plane spelling it out in the sky. But knowing you, you would probably shoot the plane down for polluting the air and throw the flowers away because theres a chance you might be allergic to them, you're not really sure yet because you keep on forgetting to see your Doctor about it.

So I'll stick to faking courage by writing my confession using the SMS which we really should not be using for this type of thing.

The wonders of technology.

Love Shinji

**Sent, today at 1:10am**

* * *

FreudFan_6: I hate him. I hate him.

ITotallyPwn: Lies, all lies.

FreudFan_6: I do hate him!

ITotallyPwn: No, you don't.

FreudFan_6: He has the nerve, the utter nerve to send me a 626-letter Confession and then look at me expectantly for the rest of the school day! I couldn't concentrate on my work!

ITotallyPwn: You actually counted how many letters were in his confession?

FreudFan_6: Oh shut up! It doesn't matter.

ITotallyPwn: What matters then?

FreudFan_6: What matters is that I hate him! Hate him hate him hate him!

ITotallyPwn: You're way more expressive online than in real life Y'know.

ITotallyPwn: So you hate him huh? Why do you hate him so much Rei?

ITotallyPwn: Come on I've always got time to listen to lies, I'd make a great Lawyer. Why do you, Ayanami Rei, hate him, Ikari Shinji, so much?

FreudFan_6: I hate the fact that he wrote 'Love Shinji' at the bottom of his stupid message; I can already see who it's from, his name is in the subject line and I don't need the sentiment…

FreudFan_6: I hate it that he gave me his Christmas present to me all wrapped up in that stupid silver wrapping paper on the 6th December, he's so organized all the time it's annoying.

FreudFan_6: I hate it that his Christmas present to me was a Travel-pack Scrabble Board, which is my favorite game ever because I can spell English words on it better than any one of you guys can…

FreudFan_6: I came first in last year's English Exam!

FreudFan_6: I hate it that he knows that.

FreudFan_6: I hate it that he knows every single damn thing about me!

FreudFan_6: He knows my favourite game, my favourite film, he even knows that my Father no longer has a set of natural teeth; he has Dentures because he donated his teeth to whales!

ITotallyPwn: He. Donated. His. Teeth. To. Whales…

FreudFan_6: I hate it that he's more stereotypically feminine than I am, he can cook and clean really well and all I can cook is rice. He has a scrapbook for each year we've known each other just because he 'happens' to have a spare notebook or two lying around. And they're really nice too, full of photos and notes and even all the Cinema Tickets from every time we've ever purposely gone to see a bad film just so we would feel better about ourselves!

FreudFan_6: I hate it that he's so kind. And thoughtful and so sweet that I feel like I'm developing a ulcer every time he makes me Lunch because he 'Knows I was up late last night perfecting some Assignment'.

FreudFan_6: Again, I hate it that he knows everything about me…

FreudFan_6: I HATE HIM.

ITotallyPwn: NO YOU DON'T.

ITotallyPwn: You can't lie to me Wondergirl, you can certainly try but you most certainly will fail cos' you suck ass at lying.

ITotallyPwn: You Love the fact that he gave you a freakin' Scrabble Board for Christmas. You Love the fact that he knows everything about you because then if something's wrong Shinji knows what it is and he knows how to make you feel better. You Love the fact that he cooks, cleans and keeps girly little scrapbooks.

ITotallyPwn: And you Love that the fact that he wrote 'Love Shinji' at the bottom of his stupid, highly effeminate 626-letter Confession.

ITotallyPwn: And Wondergirl, you're in Love with Him.

ITotallyPwn: You, Ayanami Rei, are in love with Ikari Shinji and have been for quite some time.

ITotallyPwn: And I'm getting just a little bit tired of pointing it out to you over and over again when you damn well know it yourself.

ITotallyPwn: You were in love with him when you two fought over a needlessly complicated event. You were in love with him throughout all the time I was dating him.

ITotallyPwn: You were in love with him through every single bad film you two watched together. And every fucking game of Scrabble you played with him. Hell, I Bet you were in love with him the moment he offered you some of his cold Kiddy Ramen he had for lunch on that first day of the last Year of Elementary.

ITotallyPwn: You came first in the English Exam Rei-Rei, but you come a Dead LAST in common sense.

ITotallyPwn: You and Shinji ARE in Cahoots with each other.

ITotallyPwn: He knows it and you know it.

ITotallyPwn: But I knew it first.

ITotallyPwn: Just let me be right already.

FreudFan_6 has signed off

* * *

**December 28th**

**9:38am**

* * *

Tokyo-3 Junior High Newsflash!

Newsflash! Newsflash! To the students of Tokyo-3 Junior High I, Ace Reporter Aida Kensuke, am ecstatic to announce the arrival of what could be known as 'The Premium Couple'!

Myself, along with the many persons of my Class, were greeted this Morning with the sight of Ayanami Rei, Swimming Extraordinaire, and Ikari Shinji, quite possibly the Home Economics King, totally MAKING OUT.

Well not so much making out, there were no tongues or fumbling and groping. It was more of a Classic Kiss like the ones you see in those old Black-And-White films, y'know those kisses which are special, distinguished and kinda hot? Yup, we lucky members of Class 8A saw that.

Oh it was beautiful boys and girls! We had poor, forlorn Shinji sitting at his desk moping like moping was going out of style, and then suddenly the hero Rei strides in, gathers her damsel in distress into her manly arms and proceeds to eat Shinji's face!

Congrats to the new couple! Have romantic dinners, frolic through fields and make adorable children!

* * *

To: AidaKensuke

From: PrincipalAkiyama

Aida, if you write one more inappropriate 'Newsflash' you will not only be dismissed as the School website Editor but you will also face suspension for a to-be determined amount of time.

**Sent, today at 9:55am**

To: Honda/HeadofEnglish

From: PrincipalAkiyama

Pay up Honda. They got together before the end of the School Year.

I told you I'd win the bet.

**Sent, today at 9:56am**

* * *

To: AyanamiRei

From: IkariShinji

I think this means we're going out right?

**Sent, today at 9:56am**

To: IkariShinji

From: AyanamiRei

I believe it does yes. :)

**Sent, today at 9:57am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

I told you so Wondergirl.

**Sent, today at 9:58am**

To: AyanamiRei

From: AsukaLangleySoryu

...Get a room.

**Sent, today at 9:40am**

* * *

****So this is basically the same story, except it's gone through a terrifying editing process, during which I corrected spelling and punctuation and also atempted to sort out some plot holes and make everything a bit more believable.


	2. Chapter 2

**Messages**

**A 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' Alternative Universe Fanfiction**

**Chapter ****2**

**I do not own any of the characters affiliated with the Evangelion series, they belong to Gainax. Furthermore I do not own nor claim ownership of Gainax.**

**I also do not claim ownership whatsoever of Yahoo, or any other trade marks and such that I have situated in this Fanfiction using my endless arsenal of references. **

**

* * *

**

Just so you guys know, Chapter 2 takes place several years later from Chapter 1. They're all roughly around 18 now (Debatable age of consent in Japan) except for Asuka and Touji their birthdays are stated to be in December 2001 so...yeah they're younger than everyone else. XD

Rei's birthday, those who study the series religiously like myself would know that Rei doesn't really have a specific birthday due to there being y'know...three of her. However I needed something to work with and decided that in this Fanfic Rei's Birthday would be 30th March which is the birthday of her Seiyu the ever-amazing Megumi Hayashibara, Rei's older than everyone else! :D

Yeah so, read on and please enjoy. :3

**

* * *

  
**

**To Mr. and Mrs. Ikari**

**If possible I would like to summon you both to my office this Thursday at **

**13 O'clock to discuss your son's inappropriate behaviour at our school.**

**Please contact the schools reception if you are unable to meet our appointment.**

**Principal Himura of Tokyo-3 Central High School**

_Principal Himura_

**18****th**** September, 2018 **

**

* * *

  
**

**To Mr. and Mrs. Nagisa**

**Since Miss. Ayanami's parents are currently unavailable, if possible I would like to summon you both to my office this Thursday at 13 O'clock to discuss your niece's inappropriate behaviour at our school.**

**Please contact the schools reception if you are unable to meet our appointment.**

**Principal Himura of Tokyo-3 Central High School**

_Principal Himura_

**18****th**** September, 2018 **

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**

**September 18****th**

**5:15pm**

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**Welcome to the Yahoo Instant Message Service!**

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****Online: ITotallyPwn, HorakiHikari **

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**

**Welcome FreudFan_6!**

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**

**FreudFan_6 you have just received an offer from ITotallyPwn to join in the chat!**

**FreudFan_6 you have just received an offer from ITotallyPwn to join in the chat!**

**FreudFan_6 you have just received an offer from ITotallyPwn to join in the chat!**

**FreudFan_6 you have just received an offer from ITotallyPwn to join in the chat!**

**FreudFan_6 you have just received an offer from ITotallyPwn to join in the chat!**

**FreudFan_6 you have just received an offer from ITotallyPwn to join in the chat!**

**

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****FreudFan_6 accepted your offer!**

**FreudFan_6 has entered the chat!**

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**

**FreudFan_6: You're fucking insufferable Asuka.**

**ITotallyPwn: Naughty language Rei-Rei Tut Tut.**

**ITotallyPwn: But not naughty enough compared to what you did at school-**

**ITotallyPwn: HA.**

**HorakiHikari: Rei how could you? Not only was it before marriage but it was in the Schools Infirmary! Do you think the schools a Hentai Game!? You should never have your first time in such a tasteless place!**

**FreudFan_6: That wasn't exactly our first time Hikari.**

**HorakiHikari: WHAT.**

**ITotallyPwn: Oh yeah, definitely not the first time Rei and Shinji have been going at it like rabbits since the lucky boy turned 18.**

**FreudFan_6: Thanks for being so blunt about it.**

**ITotallyPwn: Don't mention it.**

**HorakiHikari: That wasn't your first time?!**

**ITotallyPwn: You really think the surprisingly hormonal Rei would wait longer than was needed Hikari? Poor girl turned 18 in March, she must of been 'fidgeting' all those months, thinking of June 6th!**

**FreudFan_6: You need help Asuka. Serious help. Help meaning 'To be put be put down'.**

**FreudFan_6: Our first time would never be in the Infirmary Hikari, that's too** '**Tasteless' as you put it. No, our first time was on a bed on the Morning of his 18****th**** Birthday. When I went on that trip with his Family remember?**

**HorakiHikari: That's sounds…rather nice actually.**

**FreudFan_6: Not really, his parents were in the next room.**

**ITotallyPwn: Ooh, Dangerous.**

**FreudFan_6: No, Annoying. Shinji was terrified of his Mother finding out so we had to be careful not to make any noises.**

**ITotallyPwn: You wanted to make noises?**

**FreudFan_6: Yes.**

**ITotallyPwn: Remind me to give the boy a pat on the back tomorrow.**

**HorakiHikari: Why don't you tell me anything now Rei?**

**HorakiHikari: You're practically drowning in sin!**

**FreudFan_6: Sorry Hikari but not all of us want to follow the 'Pre-marital Sex is A No-No!' approach. **

**FreudFan_6: Besides, Asukas not exactly Virgin of the Year. Leave me alone and rant at her instead.**

**ITotallyPwn: Thanks.**

**HorakiHikari: Asuka! You too!?**

**ITotallyPwn: Well duh.**

**HorakiHikari: WHEN?**

**ITotallyPwn: Remember when I went on the school trip to the U.N Headquarters?**

**HorakiHikari: YOU WERE 16!?**

**ITotallyPwn: I'm German Hikari, Age of Consent for me is 16. Screw your Japanese Laws. **

**ITotallyPwn: Anyways I was having this Mini-Debate with an Iranian Transfer and as it turns out Debating is a huge Heat-Up. ;)**

**HorakiHikari: Why don't both of you ever tell me anything anymore!?**

**HorakiHikari: I feel betrayed. Horribly betrayed. **

**ITotallyPwn: Aw, suck it up. Besides from that I earned 10 points, 'Doing it with Someone of a different Nationality'!**

**FreudFan_6: 'Doing it on School Grounds' is 12 points though, and since we got caught technically it was 'Doing it in Public' too. That's another 12 points.**

**ITotallyPwn: Not true, 'Public' is 10 points.**

**FreudFan_6: 12.**

**ITotallyPwn: 10.**

**FreudFan_6: 12.**

**ITotallyPwn: 10.**

**HorakiHikari: You two are actually having a contest about Sex…**

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****HorakiHikari has signed off!**

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**

**FreudFan_6: Wow.**

**ITotallyPwn: Don't worry, she'll bounce back. **

**FreudFan_6: Probably at the Japanese Government protesting for better Restrictions on Pre-Age Consent sex. **

**ITotallyPwn: Sigh, poor girl doesn't understand the female urges. Her libido must be made of brick.**

**ITotallyPwn: She also doesn't understands how empty I feel, knowing my First Time was a one-time thing and nothing more.**

**FreudFan_6: Cut the crap Asuka.**

**ITotallyPwn: Fair enough. But it is kinda true; I had my first time with a gorgeous Foreign boy, you had yours with Shinji. Not much of a comparison to be honest but at least you two are in cahoots and it means something! Hikari's first time will probably mean something too when she's eventually able to force Touji into Marriage.**

**ITotallyPwn: But me? Perhaps I'm destined to remain the Lone Wolf forever. No man, no love and just meaningless fantastic sex. All alone.**

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****FreudFan_6 has signed off!**

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****ITotallyPwn: Thanks for emphasizing my point you Albino Bitch.**

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**Welcome to the Yahoo Email Service!**

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**

**Subject: -**

**From: AsukatheGreat**

**To:****NagisaKaworu**

**Hey Columbia Boy, you Un-gay yet?**

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**

**From: NagisaKaworu**

**To: AsukatheGreat**

**Ah Asuka.**

**Haven't heard from you in a while.**

**I'm guessing you've started to feel a bit lonely again?**

**

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**

**From: AsukatheGreat**

**To: ****NagisaKaworu**

**Not lonely. Bored.**

**I hope you realize that if your truly gay I'll be hunting down one of your Brothers instead.**

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**

**From: ****NagisaKaworu**

**To: ****AsukatheGreat**

**Spare my Brothers Asuka; they've done nothing wrong…that I know of.**

**What do you mean 'truly gay'? What makes you think I'm not gay?**

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**

**From: ****AsukatheGreat**

**To:****NagisaKaworu**

**I think your Bisexual, not gay.**

**The fact that you gave me a kiss under the Mistletoe at my Christmas Shindy last year supports my theory. And the fact that you spared enough time to do so when you were busy glaring at Shinji and keeping an eye on his and Rei's activities throughout the whole night.**

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**

**From: ****NagisaKaworu**

**To: ****AsukatheGreat**

**I was being polite Asuka, extremely polite.**

**By the way, how are my cousin and THE BOY doing?**

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**

**From: ****AsukatheGreat**

**To: ****NagisaKaworu**

**Still in love Columbia-Boy and going strong. Extremely strong considering what happened at School…**

**Give me your cellphone number and I'll call you. You'll wanna hear this in full detail.**

**

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**

**From: ****NagisaKaworu**

**To: ****SupaSonicLoveDemon**

**Sachiel, tell Mom and Dad I'm coming home to kill Rei's Boyfriend.**

**Ask Shamshel if I can borrow her baseball bat when I get back.**

**Love Kaworu. xxx  
**

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**

**September 19****th**

**8:34am**

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**

**Welcome to the Tokyo-3 ****Central High-School online Messaging service!**

**This service is a school-wide 'question-and-answer' chatting service that operates on each built in computer**** or School-purchased Laptop throughout the School.**

**This service is strictly for learning only, you may contact a Teacher threw this service to ask them a particular question or to receive any homework or lesson notes you might of missed.**

**Any student caught using the Schools Messaging Service to discuss topics NOT related to School will be restricted from the service for a set amount of weeks. If a student is caught using the Schools Messaging Service to discuss topics NOT related to School DURING lesson hours, that student will be automatically suspended for a set amount of time according to the content of their inappropriate use of the School Messaging Service.**

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**

**To: IkariShinji**

**From: AidaKensuke**

**So, tomorrows Judgement Day huh?**

_**Sent, today at 8:34am**_

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**_

**To: AidaKensuke**

**From: IkariShinji**

**Must you call it that? But yes it is. **

**It's probably not going to be needed anyway, my Fathers been hounding me about what they meant by 'inappropriate behaviour'. I nearly gave in and told him when he used the 'Nursing School' threat.**

_**Sent, today at 8:34am**_

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**To: IkariShinji**

**From: AidaKensuke**

**Nursing School?**

_**Sent, today at 8:35am**_

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**_

**To: AidaKensuke**

**From: IkariShinji**

**Yeah, apparently Military School is too 'tough' for me.**

**I dread to think about what he's going to do when he does find out tomorrow.**

_**Sent, today at 8:35am**_

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**To: IkariShinji**

**From: AidaKensuke**

**Don't worry, your Mother will protect you; I wonder what she'll do about Rei though? How's she going to react when she finds out her 'darling little boys' innocence has been snatched away by the evil Rei?**

_**Sent, today at 8:36am**_

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**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: IkariShinji**

**Rei I suggest staying out of my Mothers way for a few days after tomorrows meeting.**

_**Sent, today at 8:36am**_

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**To: IkariShinji**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**Message received and understood.**

**But why don't you just tell your Mother ahead of tomorrows meeting? It's probably better for her to hear it from you than Principal Himura.**

**I've already told my Parents who in turn told me via phone 'That's it baby, express yourself! Fight the man!'. I don't suppose your parents will react in a similar way though…**

**Your Mother will accuse me of rape. **

_**Sent, today at 8:37am**_

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**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: IkariShinji**

**That's going a bit over the top isn't it?**

_**Sent, today at 8:37am**_

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**_

**To: IkariShinji**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**It is going over the top. And it also happens to be true.**

**Sorry, not all parents can be as 'radical' as mine. But my Aunt and Uncle?**

**I suggest that ****you**** stay out of ****their**** way for a few days.**

_**Sent, today at 8:38am**_

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**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: IkariShinji**

**Got it. **

_**Sent, today at 8:38am**_

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**To: IkariShinji**

**From: SuzuharaTouji **

**Hey Shinji, I need your help.**

_**Sent, today at 8:38am**_

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**_

**To: SuzuharaTouji**

**From: IkariShinji**

**Please, anything to take my mind off of tomorrow.**

**Whats the problem?**

_**Sent, today at 8:339am**_

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**To: IkariShinji**

**From: SuzuharaTouji **

**How do you dump a girl gently?**

_**Sent, today at 8:40am**_

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**New Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text from **_**Asuka**_**. **

_**Yo Hikari where r u?**_

**New Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text from **_**Rei-Rei**_**.**

_**Hikari, don't lock yourself in the Girls Bathroom please? How do you even have the keys for it?**_

**New Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text from **_**Asuka**_**.**

_**Hikari whats wrong?**_

**New Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text from **_**Hikari**_**.**

_**He dumped me.**_

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**Welcome to the Tokyo-3 Central High School Message Board Service!**

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**

**Blog by: ****AsukaLangleySoryu-AyanamiRei**

**To: ****All female Students of Tokyo-3 Central High School**

**Subject: ****PUBLIC BURNING.**

**Our fellow Female Kind!**

**Today at Lunch our beloved Student-Body President Horaki Hikari was harshly dumped by Basketball Bonehead Suzuhara Touji! By TEXT!**

**As the Empowered Sex we must all stand together to support our President and friend Hikari in the enforcement against said Basketball Bonehead Suzuhara Touji!**

**We, Asuka and Rei, leaders of the Anti-Suzuhara Brigade call a public burning of all photos, basketballs and reminders of Suzuhara by the East Canal tonight at 8!**

**Be there and show the Sexist race our Female Empowerment!**

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**Replies:**

**YamagishiMayumi: Oh poor Horaki-San how is she?**

**AsukaLangleySoryu: She's holding up pretty well now, Mayumi if you're coming to the burning could you bring some Sandwiches?**

**YamagishiMayumi: Of course I will Leader Asuka!**

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**WakahisaYuki: Yeah! Female Empowerment! But I don't know what to burn!**

**AyanamiRei: Don't worry, if you can't find anything to burn come along anyway, we've already broken into his house and stolen a bunch of his underwear with the help of his adorable little Sister. You can just burn some of those instead. **

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**Katsuragi: I haven't been to a Public Burning since I held my own in college, are Awesome Sensei's allowed?**

**AsukaLangleySoryu: Bring some disposable beer, that'll really get the flames going. **

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**20****th**** September**

**1:56pm**

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**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**I see you're still alive.**

**Did the meeting somehow go well?**

_**Sent, today at 1:56pm**_

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**To: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**Everyone was silent, Asuka. SILENT.**

**When the Principal told the adults there was simply SILENCE.**

**It was fucked up…**

**Shinji's Mother gave me an 'Omg, you stole my baby boys innocence, I'll decapitate you' glare. I guessing his Mother hates me.**

_**Sent, today at 1:57pm**_

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**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**Yui hates any un-blood related female who comes within ½ foot of her only child, hell I've known Shinji since I was born, Yui's more of a Mother than my real one. But as soon as I started dating Shinji I was Public Enemy No. 1 according to Ikari Yui.**

**She simply loves her son TOO much.**

_**Sent, today at 1:57pm **_

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**To: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**Talking about dating, Hikari looks really down Asuka.**

**I thought us burning Touji's Ziggy boxer briefs last night would cheer her up.**

_**Sent, today at 1:58pm**_

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**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**She'll get over him eventually WonderGirl, just give her some time.**

**Poor girl, getting dumped. I wonder what that feels like?**

_**Sent, today at 1:58pm**_

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**To: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**Asuka, you know what that feels like.**

**Shinji dumped you remember?**

_**Sent, today at 1:59pm**_

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**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about.**

**As far as I can recall I dumped HIM.**

_**Sent, today at 1:59pm**_

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**To: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**Sure.**

**B.T.W how did that go so smoothly? I mean, barley a day after you two broke up you were both simply acting like you had been before you started dating.**

_**Sent, today at 2:00pm**_

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**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**Like I said, me and the Stooge have known each other since we were babies Rei. Why waste such a friendship over a failed relationship?**

**I also arranged a settlement and got his watch.**

_**Sent, today at 2:00pm**_

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**To: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**You would make a good Lawyer Asuka.**

**Or a Mafia Head.**

_**Sent, today at 2:01pm**_

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**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**Those would be interesting career choices; do you think Columbia University runs a Mafia Program? **

_**Sent, today at 2:02pm**_

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**To: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**Columbia? In New York?**

**But won't your Mom worry if you move all the way to America?**

_**Sent, today at 2:02pm**_

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**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**My Mom doesn't feed me Rei.**

_**Sent, today at 2:03pm**_

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**21****st**** September**

**7:15pm**

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**Online: BigT, IkariShinji, SupaK**

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**

**BigT: Its getting out of hand guys, I'm seriously starting to fear for my own life.**

**IkariShinji: I'm sure you're just exaggerating Touji.**

**BigT: All the girls at school are glaring at me, the female teachers whisper swear words at my back and someone put Super-Glue in my sneakers!**

**IkariShinji: I see.**

**IkariShinji: This is what they call Female Empowerment Touji, remember 'I am Woman hear me roar'?**

**BigT: Especially in Asuka's case, I swear she tried to drop a brick on my head during Lunch!**

**BigT: And there was that Public Burning they all did! They burnt Ziggy!**

**IkariShinji: K.**

**BigT: Dammit show some compassion for your friend who could be dead by the end of the week!**

**IkariShinji: Sorry Touji but I kinda think you deserve it.**

**IkariShinji: You did dump Hikari, by a text message.**

**Big T: You're starting to think like THEM!**

**IkariShinji: Why did you even dump Hikari anyway? **

**BigT: she was really-High Maintenance.**

**IkariShinji: Meaning?**

**BigT: We weren't allowed to go out to eat to anywhere below 4 Stars.**

**BigT: I always had to sit up straight.**

**BigT: Kissing was ok but hands above the shoulders only.**

**IkariShinji: Why didn't you talk about it with her?**

**BigT: And risk getting my head bitten off? Sorry Shin but not all of us have Girlfriends as understanding as your oh'so Perfect Rei.**

**IkariShinji: At least I have a Girlfriend. **

**IkariShinji: Say Kensuke, you've been quiet.**

**BigT: Weird.**

**SupaK: Sorry, I was just thinking.**

**BigT: Even weirder.**

**SupaK: Do you guys think that Mayumi would go out with me?**

**IkariShinji: Yamagishi? **

**SupaK: Yeah her, I think I might of seen some signs that she likes me!**

**BigT: 'Some signs'? That girl is one step away from screaming her strange liking for a certain Four-Eyes Gunji-Otaku.**

**SupaK: Who's that?**

**SupaK: Oh me!**

**SupaK: ……….**

**SupaK: Awesome.**

**SupaK: So I should ask her out?**

**IkariShinji: Why not?**

**BigT: Yeah I might as well let my friend be happy instead of dragging him into my despair.**

**IkariShinji: Where are you getting the despair from? YOU'RE the one who dumped Hikari. **

**BigT: I'm in despair from the fact that your Childhood Chum and your Girlfriend have put out a hit on me!**

**SupaK: Mayumi just came online!**

**SupaK: Alright, I'll see you guys later! :)**

**

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**

**Mayumi you have received an offer from SupaK to chat!**

**Mayumi accepted your offer!**

**

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**

**SupaK: Hey Mayumi, hows things?**

**Mayumi: Things are fine; I'm really worried about the approaching exams.**

**SupaK: I'm sure you'll do great, have you decided what college you want to attend yet?**

**Mayumi: Not exactly but I'm hoping something in Kyoto, then I'll be nearer to Mana's Convent! What about yourself Kensuke-Kun?**

**SupaK: I don't know yet, I might just get a job instead. I don't think my Dad can exactly afford University.**

**SupaK: Anyways, Mayumi I was wondering if you were free this Sunday?**

**Mayumi: Why?**

**SupaK: Were you thinking of going out?**

**Mayumi: Not really.**

**SupaK: Well in that case, do you want to go out?**

**Mayumi: With who?**

**SupaK: With me.**

**Mayumi: You mean on a date?**

**SupaK: Yeah. :)**

**Mayumi: Oh god, Kensuke-Kun I'd love to. I really would but I can't.**

**SupaK: K…**

**Mayumi: I mean it I would! It's just, all the girls at school made this Pact…**

**

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**

**22****nd**** September**

**9:34pm**

**

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**

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: IkariShinji**

**What do you mean we have to break up!?**

_**Sent, today at 9:34am**_

_**

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**_

**To: IkariShinji**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**It's only temporary Shinji.**

_**Sent, today at 9:34am**_

_**

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**_

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: IkariShinji**

**Did I do something wrong? Am I boring you?**

**Did my Mother threaten you!?**

_**Sent, today at 9:34am**_

_**

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**_

**To: IkariShinji**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**It's a sense of responsibility and standing up for our fellow female.**

**All the girls in school made a pact to stay Boyfriend-less and date-less until your friend Touji officially apologizes to poor Hikari and agrees to make a settlement of 3 Million yen. **

**Or at least until this all dies down.**

_**Sent, today at 9:35am**_

_**

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**_

**13****th**** October**

**10:05am**

**

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**

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: IkariShinji**

**It hasn't died down yet has it?**

_**Sent, today at 10:05am**_

_**

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**_

**To: IkariShinji**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**Indeed it hasn't.**

**Miss you.**

_**Sent, today at 10:05am**_

_**

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**_

**To: HorakiHikari**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**That Ex of yours has some Resistance.**

_**Sent, today at 10:07am**_

_**

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**_

**To: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**From: HorakiHikari **

**How else can he be such a good Basketball Captain?**

_**Sent, today at 10:07am**_

_**

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**_

**To: HorakiHikari**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**Oh No!**

**Don't you dare slip into the 3****rd**** Stage of Grief Hikari!**

**You've come this far! 'Bargaining' is not the way out!**

_**Sent, today at 10:08am**_

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**_

**To: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**From: HorakiHikari**

**How in the hell am I bargaining?**

_**Sent, today at 10:08am**_

_**

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**_

**To: HorakiHikari**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**I know you Hikari!**

**Your thinking of giving in and asking HIM to take YOU back!**

**No! Bad girl! No giving in I say!**

_**Sent, today at 10:09am**_

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**_

**To: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**From: HorakiHikari**

**I'm not gonna give in Asuka I swear!**

**B.T.W Where's Rei going?**

_**Sent, today at 10:09am**_

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**_

**To: HorakiHikari**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu **

**I dunno bathroom?**

**I just noticed, Shin left about two minutes ago…**

_**Sent, today at 10:10am**_

_**

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**_

**To Mr. and Mrs. Ikari**

**If possible I would like to summon you both to my office this Monday at **

**14 O'clock to discuss your son's inappropriate behaviour at our school.**

**Please contact the schools reception if you are unable to meet our appointment.**

**Principal Himura of Tokyo-3 Central High School**

_Principal Himura_

**13****th**** October, 2018**

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**

**To Mr. and Mrs. Ayanami**

**If possible I would like to summon you both to my office this Monday at **

**14 O'clock to discuss your daughter's inappropriate behaviour at our school.**

**Please contact the schools reception if you are unable to meet our appointment.**

**Principal Himura of Tokyo-3 Central High School**

_Principal Himura_

**13****th**** October, 2018**

**

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**

**ITotallyPwn: Seriously Rei? In the Supply Closet this time?**

**FreudFan_6: Look I was deprived for 3 weeks because of your pact-idea.**

**FreudFan_6: Give me a break.**

**ITotallyPwn: For breaking the ever-sacred Girls Pact you must be punished Ayanami Rei!**

**ITotallyPwn: You must deposit 2000 yen to the Girls Pact Initiator!**

**FreudFan_6: I knew you had your eye on that top in 'Harajuka'.**

**ITotallyPwn: You'd think they'd give me a bigger discount than 10% because I'm the most dedicated Employee there!**

**FreudFan_6: So dedicated in fact that you Roundhouse kicked that old lady who you suspected of stealing the Pink Sequined bra. **

**ITotallyPwn: Since she didn't press charges I thought we decided to NEVER mention that certain event again.**

**ITotallyPwn: Anyways, when did your parents get back?**

**ITotallyPwn: Matter of fact just where the hell did they go for all these years?**

**FreudFan_6: You know that year I joined Elementary?**

**FreudFan_6: We were all going to move to Tokyo-3 as a family but then they had another 'Spiritual Awakening' and decided to follow it to Tibet.**

**ITotallyPwn: Uh-Huh. Your Parents can't be anymore hippie than they are now WonderGirl. Why didn't you go with them?**

**FreudFan_6: I didn't want to, last time we went to Tibet we became affiliated with a Buddhist Temple. My parents got really into it and decided that all 3 of us should shave our hair off.**

**ITotallyPwn: You're kidding?**

**FreudFan_6: No, I'm not.**

**FreudFan_6: I used to have hair past my waist believe it or not.**

**ITotallyPwn: So where are your folks staying?**

**FreudFan_6: At mine, which they have the right to do. They pay for it.**

**ITotallyPwn: You don't like it do you?**

**FreudFan_6: No I'm fine with it, I'm just a little too used to my space. I know that we all should stay together under one roof like a proper family does.**

**ITotallyPwn: Not my family, my Dad lives in New Zealand with his new wife and Mom works a lot. I usually get the house to myself.**

**FreudFan_6: What do you do all day? **

**ITotallyPwn: Plot world domination.**

**FreudFan_6: Whilst making all my over-16 male cousins your slave's right?**

**ITotallyPwn: Damn straight.**

**

* * *

  
**

**14****th**** October**

**4:09pm**

**

* * *

  
**

**ITotallyPwn: You in Stage 4 yet?**

**HorakiHikari: Whats Stage 4?**

**ITotallyPwn: Depression.**

**HorakiHikari: I'm not too sure; I'm too busy keeping my Father under control to be depressed. He's attempting to purchase a rifle on Amazon so he can 'finish off' Touji.**

**ITotallyPwn: He's a smart man your Father.**

**HorakiHikari: Why can't this just be over with already? **

**HorakiHikari: It's been weeks since the break up and I'm still not feeling completely OK. **

**ITotallyPwn: Stage 4 Hikari, Stage 4.**

**HorakiHikari: Screw you and your Stage 4! I want my Boyfriend back!**

**ITotallyPwn: Hikari NO.**

**HorakiHikari: Why not?**

**ITotallyPwn: Woman just hang on, Stage 5 is acceptance. You'll be fine.**

**HorakiHikari: This 'Pact' thing isn't going anywhere, its just making all the girls in the school depressed. For gods sake Asuka have you not seen Rei?!**

**ITotallyPwn: I have seen Rei, in the Supermarket buying 5 different types of Organic beans with her parents.**

**HorakiHikari: This is no time for joking Asuka!**

**ITotallyPwn: I'm not joking. Her hippie parents were buying beans…**

**ITotallyPwn: Lima Beans.**

**HorakiHikari: Well…good for them I suppose. Lima beans are good for you.**

**ITotallyPwn: Lima beans are also good for magic hippie potions…**

**HorakiHikari: Can we get back to the main subject now?**

**HorakiHikari: I really miss that idiot, because he dumped me I feel Lousy, fat and all my life plans have been shattered!**

**HorakiHikari: We were going to date after Graduation, maybe take a Gap Year and go backpacking in Europe or something. Then University of course, finish University, find jobs, get married-**

**ITotallyPwn: And then you were gonna have two kids, a girl and a boy called Marie and Donny Osmond.**

**HorakiHikari: This isn't funny Asuka, I swear you're just making it worse!**

**ITotallyPwn: Total Stage 4!**

**ITotallyPwn: That's it you need to get out! **

**ITotallyPwn: Me and you are going Downtown! And we're gonna have fun!**

**ITotallyPwn: Asuka Style!**

**HorakiHikari: I dread the idea, I truly do.**

**HorakiHikari: Can Rei come?**

**HorakiHikari: I'd feel safer if she did…**

**ITotallyPwn: I'll text her, brb.**

**ITotallyPwn: Yep, Rei is surprisingly easy to manipulate when she's depressed and/or sexually frustrated.**

**ITotallyPwn: So where shall we go?**

**HorakiHikari: Well, there is that Frozen Yogurt place that everyone at school is really into right now.**

**ITotallyPwn: Cool. I'll meet you at yours in an hour I have to get dressed and leave a bowl of dog-food outside for my Mom. **

**

* * *

  
**

**New Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text from **_**Unknown**_**.**

_**Rei-baby sorry it's your Mother. I'm using the neighbour's cellphone, on your way home would you mind picking up some herbal ointment for your Father? His skin is going all rashy again.**_

_**By the way your cousins came by! They asked for your little Boyfriend, I had no idea where he was so I sent them on their way with some rice crackers. Love Mama.**_

**New Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text from **_**Aunt Lilith**_**.**

_**Rei-Chan you and your parents should come over some time and eat a good meal you all look so thin nowadays. You silly Vegetarians.**_

_**Also, Kaworu has come back home! Isn't that lovely? America is such a big place I'm so glad hes safe. He and some of your cousins went out so you might see them around.**_

**New Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text from **_**Columbia Boy**_**.**

_**Asuka, dearest helpful Asuka.**_

_**You wouldn't happen to know where Rei's Boyfriend is would you?**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**New Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text from **_**Shinji.**_

_**Rei did I ever tell you that I really love you? Seriously.**_

_**I just thought I'd get that out of the way before I die since I'm currently being chased by a gang of cousins wearing black and carrying blunt objects.**_

_**Tell Kensuke that he needs a Girlfriend; Touji needs to start wearing deodorant again and Asuka needs a slap in the face. Just once.**_

_**Also tell Hikari that the reason Touji broke up with her because he thought she was too high maintenance.**_

_**There, now I can die guilt free. **_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**16****th**** October **

**8:39am**

**

* * *

  
**

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: HorakiHikari**

**Hows Shinji doing? You visited him in the Hospital yesterday right?**

_**Sent, today at 8:39am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: HorakiHikari**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**Well he woke up. Which is good…but he just spent the rest of the day staring at the ceiling mumbling his shopping list for last January.**

_**Sent, today at 8:40am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: HorakiHikari**

**He can remember a shopping list from January?**

_**Sent, today at 8:40am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: HorakiHikari**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**Apparently a severe beating to the head unlocks memories in the subconscious.**

_**Sent, today at 8:40am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: HorakiHikari**

**I see. **

_**Sent, today at 8:41am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**Hows the Wife?**

_**Sent, today at 8:41am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**I have nothing to say to you, Traitor.**

**P.S- He's fine, a little out of it but fine.**

_**Sent, today at 8:41am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**Le Duh, you are saying things to me Rei-Rei.**

_**Sent, today at 8:41am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**I'm typing things to you, totally different.**

**How could you give poor Shinji's location away just like that!?**

_**Sent, today at 8:42am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**May I point out that your Dear Cousin Kaworu is the ringleader behind all of this, blame him! Hurt him! But not his face! If you maim one bit of his beautiful face I swear I'll kill you!**

**PS-And may I mention that if you and Shinji hadn't of been doing the nasty in school in the first place we wouldn't be having this problem at all!**

_**Sent, today at 8:43am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**Kaworu has left the country and my Aunt and Uncle won't punish the other participating Cousins. They told me 'That boy of yours had it comin' Rei, how dare he force you! How dare he!'.**

**P.S- You will blame anyone else but yourself won't you? Shinji was right, you do need a slap in the face. Just once.**

_**Sent, today at 8:44am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**Yeah, like it was really Shinji doing the forcing, do your relatives all think you're this delicate little thing? And what do you mean 'Shinji was right'?! Whats this he said about a slap? I'll slap him whether he's in Hospital or not! **

_**Sent, today at 8:45am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: HorakiHikari**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**Hikari stop writing mournful poetry on your arm you'll die of ink poisoning.**

**B.T.W I should tell you something, Shinji confided in his 'Last Lament' via text to me that the reason Touji broke up with you was because he thought you were too high maintenance.**

_**Sent, today at 8:47am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: PrincipalHimura **

**From: Katsuragi**

**Himura-Sama I thought I should just warn you that Horaki Hikari just removed herself from my classroom without dismissal. I would of stopped her but she looked real pissed, if I had gotten hurt it would be on your head and school health plan Himura-Sama. **

**B.T.W the Poker nights gonna be held at Momo's instead this week. Itsukis' having his apartment fumigated. **

_**Sent, today at 8:51am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: Tokyo-3Central-High-Schoolstaff **

**From: PrincipalHimura**

**To all available Staff Members please be on the look out for an apparently pissed off Horaki Hikari, 11****th**** Grade, who personally dismissed herself from her classroom. If you see Horaki either attempt to escort her to my office or report back to me about her whereabouts.**

**Good luck.**

_**Sent, today at 8:53am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: Tokyo-3Central-High-SchoolStudentBody**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**Watch out! Hikari's on a freakin' rampage!**

_**Sent, today at 8:56am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: SuzuharaTouji**

**From: HorakiHikari**

**You. Me. Gym-Ground. NOW.**

_**Sent, today at 8:57am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**Tokyo-3 Central High School Newsflash!**

**Newsflash! Newsflash! A news system that I, Ace Reporter Aida Kensuke, was truly infamous for in Junior High being the Website Editor! But since retaining the same position in my High School years I have diminished doing such Newsflash's in order to keep my position and not enter any trouble!**

**However. The Ace Reporter Aida Kensuke MUST come out of his shell and report once again! **

**Today, during the humble hours of Morning school, a troubled Horaki Hikari, Student Body President, ran from Katsuragi-Sensei's' English Language class with quite possibly the intent to kill! And kill she did! …Nearly.**

**Minutes later, an audience composed of passing innocents, teachers, students and cheering girls witnessed a usually polite and friendly Horaki Hikari beat the living crap out of one Basketball Captain Suzuhara Touji!**

**Seriously, she went to town on his ass!**

**Those who keep up with the schools gossip would know that Horaki and Suzuhara were, until a few weeks ago, a much envied and admired couple! The Basketball star and the President together what a dream couple it seemed! But, several weeks ago that dream was destroyed when Touji dumped Hikari by a simple text! Since then there has been an ever-building wall of hostility and awkwardness between them which has now recently been broken by the aforementioned Horaki Hikari! **

**Hikari's great beating left Touji bruised in many places, so many in fact that the boy has been rushed to Tokyo-3 Central Hospital my sources have confirmed!**

**

* * *

  
**

**New Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text from **_**Shinji**_**.**

_**Hey there neighbour.**_

_Shut are these Hospital beds so uncomfortable?_

**New Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text from **_**Shinji**_**.**

_**If you're really desperate you can adjust your bed Touji. Just press one of the buttons on the side.**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**Tokyo-3 Central Hospital pager-note**

**Will any available Nurse please report to Bed 6 in Ward 17? **

**The patient has somehow managed to trap himself.**

**

* * *

  
**

**New Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text from **_**Shinji**_**.**

_**Not that button idiot.**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**17****th**** October**

**12:13pm **

**

* * *

  
**

**Welcome to the Yahoo Email Service!**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: ****IkariShinji**

**To: ****BigT**

**How are you feeling?**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: IkariShinji**

**Like the definition of depression. **

**It hurts in ALL the worst places; I'm surprised I'm still able to type.**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: IkariShinji**

**To: BigT**

**On a Hospital computer service no less…**

**It can't be that bad can it?**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: IkariShinji**

**You see my pinkie finger moving slightly on my left hand? That's as far as I can give you the middle finger.**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: IkariShinji**

**To: BigT**

**I hope you understand that I'm your only form of communication right? In this ward the Hospital Email service only extends to this Ward. Since I have my laptop I can easily leave you be and use my time to talk to someone else.**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: IkariShinji**

**Whatever, sorry.**

**Since your typing better I'm guessing that your head has cleared up?**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: IkariShinji**

**To: BigT**

**Well I can at least see straight now, its amazing what 2 baseball bats, 3 golf clubs and a milk bottle can do to the head. I can't believe Rei's cousins nearly killed me just because me and Rei…y'know…did stuff.**

**I should maybe consider making plans about a holiday or something…just me and Rei. I'm getting sick of all this trouble that's amounting from certain 'incidents' becoming public news.**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: IkariShinji**

'**With great sex comes great responsibility'. **

**

* * *

  
**

**From: IkariShinji**

**To: SuzuharaTouji**

**That's not the line. Don't use quotas.**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: IkariShinji**

**Shut up.**

**When are Visiting Hours again? I need some other human being to talk to.**

**

* * *

  
**

**18****th**** October**

**5:48pm**

**

* * *

  
**

**Welcome to the Yahoo Instant Messaging Service!**

**

* * *

  
**

**Online: HorakiHikari, ITotallyPwn**

**

* * *

  
**

**ITotallyPwn: I never took miss Horaki-the human rulebook-Hikari to be the type to be suspended.**

**HorakiHikari: I know.**

**ITotallyPwn: Was it worth it?**

**HorakiHikari: Definitely.**

**ITotallyPwn: That's my girl :)**

**HorakiHikari: I felt so…different when I beat him up.**

**ITotallyPwn: Good different?**

**HorakiHikari: Amazingly good different! So alive, so free…**

**ITotallyPwn: This conversation is turning into a Disney song…**

**

* * *

  
**

**IkariShinji has just come online!**

**HorakiHikari sent IkariShinji an invite to join in the chat!**

**IkariShinji accepted the invite!**

**IkariShinji just entered the chat!**

**

* * *

  
**

**ITotallyPwn: Hey princess.**

**HorakiHikari: How you feeling Shinji?**

**IkariShinji: Way better, I might be out in a week or so. :)**

**ITotallyPwn: What a pity for the rest of us.**

**HorakiHikari: Rei said she was coming to see you after School, is she there?**

**IkariShinji: Yeah she's here. Having a glaring contest with my Mother.**

**IkariShinji: Rei says hi.**

**ITotallyPwn: Tell her I say hi back.**

**HorakiHikari: So things between Rei and your Mother are still frosty?**

**ITotallyPwn: …………………**

**IkariShinji: Unfortunately yes, even more so now cos of the whole 'Rei's cousins Beating me up' thing.**

**ITotallyPwn: …………………**

**HorakiHikari: I'm sure your Mother will calm down eventually, Rei just needs to work on her using some of that 'Ayanami Rei Charm'.**

**ITotallyPwn: What charm? Staring at people and making them uncomfortable?**

**ITotallyPwn: Rei won't charm Yui she'll terrify her.**

**IkariShinji: Thanks for visiting yesterday by the way Hikari, and for the food. Hospital food….well…sucks.**

**HorakiHikari: Your welcome, I hate hospital food too. Especially the brown stuff they 'claim' is food…I'm never all that sure.**

**IkariShinji: I think I had a heap of that for Breakfast this Morning actually.**

**ITotallyPwn: ………….y'know what, screw this.**

**

* * *

  
**

**ITotallyPwn just signed off!**

**

* * *

  
**

**IkariShinji: Has she realized I'm ignoring her?**

**HorakiHikari: I think so yes. **

**HorakiHikari: How long do you plan to keep on ignoring Asuka?**

**IkariShinji: When she says sorry for torturing me since we were kids, creating that whole Pact thing, telling Kaworu about 'that' incident in September and for telling Rei's cousins my location thus leading to me recuperating in a hospital with sucky hospital food.**

**HorakiHikari: So quite a few years I'm guessing?**

**IkariShinji: I'll be dead before she apologizes.**

**IkariShinji: B.T.W, about when you visited yesterday-**

**IkariShinji: Touji was pretty upset when you ignored him like that.**

**HorakiHikari: He deserved it.**

**IkariShinji: I'm not arguing with you Hikari but Touji has been through quite a bit this past month and so….**

**HorakiHikari: And you think the least I could have done is apologize to HIM for beating him up?**

**IkariShinji: Pretty much.**

**HorakiHikari: When Hell freezes over.**

**IkariShinji: Fair enough, but this whole thing has gone on long enough don't you think? And you two haven't even attempted to talk about your problems…and like I said this whole thing has been going on for a while now.**

**HorakiHikari: Excuse me Mr. 'Took me 3 years to hook up with Rei when we so obviously had a thing for each other'!**

**IkariShinji: Ouch. Since when are you this outspoken? **

**HorakiHikari: Since I decided to change.**

**IkariShinji: Since Touji said you were too High-Maintenance?**

**HorakiHikari: Shut up or I'll ask Rei to ignore YOU.**

**IkariShinji: Speaking of Rei that Pact thing is still going on isn't it?**

**HorakiHikari: I guess…**

**IkariShinji: If you and Touji talk this out then this whole Pact will end right?**

**HorakiHikari: Maybe.**

**IkariShinji: Good cos I want to be able to spend time with my Girlfriend again, ON School Grounds and not in a Hospital.**

**IkariShinji: Poor Kensuke finally found a girl he likes who also likes him back and hes not able to date her because of the pact...  
**

**IkariShinji: Now, I'm going to sign off now and I'm going to give Touji my Laptop. He's going to sign in and you two are going to TALK.**

**IkariShinji: Ok?**

**IkariShinji: Good luck.**

**

* * *

  
**

**IkariShinji signed off!**

**

* * *

  
**

**BigT just signed in!**

**

* * *

  
**

**BigT sent HorakiHikari an invitation to chat!**

**BigT sent HorakiHikari an invitation to chat!**

**BigT sent HorakiHikari an invitation to chat!**

**HorakiHikari accepted the invitation!**

**

* * *

  
**

**BigT: Hi.**

**HorakiHikari: Hi.**

**

* * *

  
**

**20****th**** October**

**9:03am**

**

* * *

  
**

**Welcome to the Yahoo Email Service!**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Rei-Rei**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**You changed your Email name?**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: Rei-Rei**

**Yeah, I just felt like it. :)**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Rei-Rei**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**I like it, its interesting. :)**

**So, did you both talk it out? You and Touji?**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: Rei-Rei**

**He apologized.**

**And he explained the whole situation to his Father who deposited to me a cheque for 3 Million Yen which Touji is to pay off bit by bit. **

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Rei-Rei**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**So it's over?**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: Rei-Rei**

**Yeah, it's over.**

**

* * *

  
**

**22****nd**** October**

**1:12pm**

**

* * *

  
**

**Tokyo-3 Central High School Newsflash!**

**Newsflash! Newsflash! I, Ace Reporter Aida Kensuke, am joyous to report that the 'Girls and Boys Separation Pact' is finally over!**

**The Pact was initiated by the female student body earlier this year in response to the Basketball Team Captain Suzuhara Touji dumping the beloved Student Body President Horaki Hikari by a text message. The Pact involved one simple rule:**

'**No Female Student of Tokyo-3 Central High shall date any members of the Male race to show our support for our unfairly treated President Hikari!'**

**Although it seemed the Pact started off well (for most) it should became a strain on most members of the Student Body especially couples who had to break up over the Pact. It was too much a strain for one certain couple consisting of Ayanami Rei and Ikari Shinji! Let's just say…the Third floor supply closet will never be the same again.**

**However, this Morning we saw Pact Practitioner Asuka Langley Soryu and aforementioned Ayanami Rei standing on the School Roof proclaiming the official end of the Pact through megaphones! What a sight that announcement initiated! Couples running towards each other crying tears of joy! Girls and boys in arms cheering! And myself, Ace Reporter Aida Kensuke, remember jumping in the air and clicking my heels together!**

**Why is this Pact over? My sources tell me that Touji and Hikari FINALLY talked it out; he apologized and deposited 3 Million big ones to the offended aka. Hikari! A calm and controlled contrast to just last week when she happened to be beating his ass…**

**Anyways, what does it matter! The Pacts over! Everything (hopefully) is back to normal and I, Ace Reporter Aida Kensuke, have a date TOONIIIIIGHT!**

**

* * *

  
**

**ITotallyPwn: You should have seen it Hikari, there was all this hugging and kissing everywhere, couples crying…I nearly choked from laughing.**

**Hikari.H: You are so Anti-Romance.**

**ITotallyPwn: Am not!**

**ITotallyPwn: I'm Anti-**_**sickening **_**romance but not the whole thing, I'm planning on skipping over to a whole other country to follow a amazingly hot piece of ass.**

**ITotallyPwn: How romantic is THAT.**

**Hikari.H: You're planning on doing what?**

**ITotallyPwn: Never mind, I can't tell you my plans…evil plans…**

**ITotallyPwn: So, you and Touji, whats going on there now?**

**Hikari.H: Nothing…**

**Hikari.H: Well…on my case nothing…I think…**

**Hikari.H: It's just that on Sunday we talked over the phone, he's able to speak clearly now, and he…well he asked me out.**

**ITotallyPwn: NO.**

**Hikari.H: YES!**

**ITotallyPwn: What did you say!?**

**Hikari.H: I said no!**

**ITotallyPwn: I see…**

**Hikari.H: But hes sent me like sixty Emails since then asking me the same thing Over and Over again! I keep on replying no but he won't give in!**

**Hikari.H: He says the 'new' me is something…amazing. He's never called me amazing before, it's really…nice. **

**ITotallyPwn: You replied no to every single Email he sent you?**

**Hikari.H: Yeah.**

**Hikari.H: Oh God, should I just ignore the Emails alltogether? I didn't think of that…oh dear…this is confusing what do I do!?!**

**ITotallyPwn: Well…y'know what how about I keep myself out of this one?**

**Hikari.H: I'm sorry what?**

**ITotallyPwn: This is your business isn't it?**

**Hikari.H: Is this a trick?**

**ITotallyPwn: That hurt me Hikari, it truly did. **

**ITotallyPwn: Damn woman I'm trying to do a good thing here…**

**Hikari.H: Are you sure?**

**ITotallyPwn: You're a big girl you can take care of yourself, and I don't know if you've noticed...but the handling I've done of your relationships so far hasn't been all that good.**

**Hikari.H: ………….**

**Hikari.H: NO.**

**ITotallyPwn: Oh how Hi-lar-i-ous.**

**Hikari.H: Well…ok, thanks Asuka.**

**ITotallyPwn: Meh.**

**Hikari.H: I'm gonna go to bed now k? Night! :)**

**ITotallyPwn: Night.**

**

* * *

  
**

**Hikari.H signed off!**

**

* * *

  
**

**ITotallyPwn; I should get payed for all this matchmaking shit I do…**

**

* * *

  
**

**23****rd**** October**

**3:50pm**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**I might be out by this Sunday, wanna go see a movie to celebrate? ;)**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: BigT**

**No.**

**

* * *

  
**

**25****th**** October**

**1:17pm**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**Shinji got out today! **

**I have no more company! I'm wonesome! All by myself, don't wanna be all by myself…keep me company?**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: BigT**

**No way.**

**

* * *

  
**

**28****th**** October**

**5:41pm**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**And he walks free!**

**I'm out! I'm healthy! And I saw this new Indian restaurant on the car ride home…wanna check it out?**

**C'mon Hikari you like a good curry!**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: BigT**

**I will check it out, but not with you.**

**Me and Asuka are gonna go with Kensuke and Mayumi for their Second Date,I checked the website and me and Asuka are going to pretend we're dating to get the special 'Dating Discount' they have.  
**

**Thanks for telling me about the place. **

**

* * *

  
**

**30****th**** October**

**8:33am**

**

* * *

  
**

**To: HorakiHikari**

**From: SuzuharaTouji**

**You should wear your hair down more often, it looks hot.**

_**Sent, today at 8:33am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: SuzuharaTouji**

**From: HorakiHikari**

**Must you be so blunt?**

**But thank you, now pay attention to what Sensei is saying. It's about Exams.**

_**Sent, today at 8:34**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: HorakiHikari**

**From: SuzuharaTouji**

**I know all about exams no need to worry about me…I've got an Athletics Scholarship all sorted out.**

_**Sent, today at 8:35am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: SuzuharaTouji**

**From: HorakiHikari**

**Since when?**

_**Sent, today at 8:35am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: HorakiHikari**

**From: SuzuharaTouji**

**A few weeks.**

_**Sent, today at 8:35am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: SuzuharaTouji**

**From: HorakiHikari**

**And you didn't tell me because…?**

_**Sent, today at 8:56am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: HorakiHikari**

**From: SuzuharaTouji**

**I only tell my Girlfriend such things, I have many things I could tell you Hikari ;)**

**Perfect time too! Let's go to Rin's Halloween party together! **

**Just like we did a year ago for our first date! :D**

**What'd you think?**

_**Sent, today at 8:57am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: SuzuharaTouji**

**From: HorakiHikari**

**I think I'll change my mind about going to that party tomorrow.**

_**Sent, today at 8:57am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: HorakiHikari**

**From: SuzuharaTouji**

**Oh come on don't do that! Its gonna be fancy dress and everything!**

**You need to come!**

_**Sent, today at 8:58am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**November 1****st**

**12:15pm**

**

* * *

  
**

**Online: ITotallyPwn**

**

* * *

  
**

**FreudFan_6 just signed on!**

**

* * *

  
**

**ITotallyPwn sent an invitation to FreudFan_6 to chat!**

**FreudFan_6 accepted the invitation!**

**

* * *

  
**

**ITotallyPwn: Well look who decided to join the land of the living…**

**FreudFan_6: Oh God…my head…**

**ITotallyPwn: That's what you get for drinking 'Rin's Mystery Punch'.**

**FreudFan_6: If I recall, and I'm surprised I can, you drank your fair share of that damn punch too.**

**ITotallyPwn: Yes but I can handle my drink, to a certain extent.**

**ITotallyPwn: Its lucky that Schools off today…for you anyway.**

**ITotallyPwn: B.T.W you are a total party person when you're pissed. **

**ITotallyPwn: That table dance was particularly a crowd pleaser…**

**FreudFan_6: You're kidding? I did a TABLE DANCE?!**

**ITotallyPwn: And a halfway strip…**

**FreudFan_6: Oh fuck.**

**ITotallyPwn: Calm down, it was only a halfway strip after all. Shinji got you off the table before anyone got to see any of the goods. Most likely cos he wanted you for himself as evidenced by the Make-Out fest that followed closely…**

**ITotallyPwn: Rei + Shinji + Alcoholic punch = a very interesting show by the Kitchen sink.**

**ITotallyPwn: I never thought I'd see an angel and a ghostbuster in that sort of situation…you looked really cute in that costume b.t.w X3**

**FreudFan_6: I remember now, I lost my angel wings…I'm never drinking again.**

**ITotallyPwn: Now that's not fair, my Birthdays next Month and a drunken Rei Table dance would be magnificent entertainment! XD**

**FreudFan_6: Leave me be…I need to retreat to the comfort of my bed. And to avoid the endless packets and bottles of 'Herbal Hangover Cures' my parents keep throwing my way. **

**ITotallyPwn: Before you leave to wallow in your lair I need you to phone Shinji and tell that boy to stop ignoring me. **

**FreudFan_6: Why don't you just apologize you cold-hearted witch?**

**ITotallyPwn: Apologizing aint my thing sunshine.**

**FreudFan_6: Seems a shame to waste a 'friendship forged since you were babies' on YOUR arrogance.**

**ITotallyPwn: HIS arrogance more like, god it's so annoying when he doesn't pay attention to my annoying him!**

**FreudFan_6: Well you obviously feed on other people's attention…**

**FreudFan_6: Just apologize.**

**ITotallyPwn: No!**

**FreudFan_6: Asuka…**

**ITotallyPwn: No way!**

**FreudFan_6: call me when you grow up k?

* * *

  
**

**FreudFan_6 has signed off!**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**Told you it would be fun! How awesome was that party last night! :D**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: BigT**

**Okay I'll admit it was fun…I still can't believe you dressed up as 'Super Touji' again…**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**Super Touji with improved light-up underwear!**

**You weren't complaining about how I was dressed at the party itself, you must have been overwhelmed by how sexy I look in spandex B)**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: BigT**

**I was more overwhelmed by the fact that Kensuke and Mayumi came as a Costume Couple! They're moving so quickly in their relationship…but it's too cute to really complain. They looked so sweet together as Tarzan and Jane. X3**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**Ugh…Ken in a loincloth...I was trying to get rid of that memory…**

**Ah! My head! My head is in trauma! I need help, help from the very Helpful Horaki Hikari perhaps for a walk in the park after school tomorrow?**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: BigT**

……**No.**

**

* * *

  
**

**IkariShinji just signed online!**

**

* * *

  
**

**ITotallyPwn just sent IkariShinji an invitation to chat! **

**ITotallyPwn just sent IkariShinji an invitation to chat!**

**

* * *

  
**

**ITotallyPwn just nudged IkariShinji!**

**ITotallyPwn just sent IkariShinji an invitation to chat!**

**IkariShinji accepted the invitation!**

**

* * *

  
**

**ITotallyPwn: HA.**

**ITotallyPwn: Have you given in then?**

**ITotallyPwn: You really should cos I'm not.**

**ITotallyPwn: You should know from all our years of knowing each other that I have the greater resilience of the both of us.**

**ITotallyPwn: ……………….**

**ITotallyPwn: Aren't you going to apologize then? **

**ITotallyPwn: ……………….**

**ITotallyPwn: Oh I see, you probably have a hangover from last night so you can't type all that fast…**

**ITotallyPwn: ……………….**

**ITotallyPwn: I can wait.**

**ITotallyPwn: ………………**

**ITotallyPwn: ………………**

**

* * *

  
**

**(Still) 1****st**** November**

**1:32pm **

**

* * *

  
**

**ITotallyPwn: ……………..**

**ITotallyPwn: You are so childish!**

**ITotallyPwn: And mean!**

**ITotallyPwn: You are so mean if you accepted my invitation to chat just so you could ignore me!**

**ITotallyPwn: That's diabolical! **

**

* * *

  
**

**(Still) 1****st**** November**

**2:04pm**

**

* * *

  
**

**ITotallyPwn: This is RIDICULOUS.**

**ITotallyPwn: ………………**

**ITotallyPwn: FINE!**

**ITotallyPwn: I'm sorry OK!?**

**IkariShinji: And what are you sorry for?**

**ITotallyPwn: Telling Kaworu and Rei's other beautiful and physcopatic cousins your location…**

**IkariShinji: And?**

**ITotallyPwn: Telling Kaworu about you and Rei doing the dirty Business in the first place?**

**IkariShinji: That's right. And how about saying sorry for everything you've been dishing out to me since we were BORN?**

**ITotallyPwn: Let's not go that far!**

**IkariShinji: Asuka…**

**ITotallyPwn: Fine whatever…I'm sorry for belittling you since we were kids and for causing you physical pain…maybe sometimes mental pain too…you know I can get out of hand sometimes?**

**IkariShinji: Sometimes?**

**ITotallyPwn: I'm also sorry for selling your bike in the second grade…**

**ITotallyPwn: And for lying to your Dad once that you were helping to smuggle Absinthe into Kyoto…**

**IkariShinji: That was you!? **

**IkariShinji: I got sent to Juvenile prison for 5 weeks!**

**ITotallyPwn: …………….**

**ITotallyPwn: Oh yeah, I'm also sorry for telling Rei that you only had one Testicle.**

**IkariShinji: ……………..**

**ITotallyPwn: Don't be like that! She found out I was lying eventually didn't she!**

**IkariShinji: ……………..**

**ITotallyPwn: What else…Oh yeah, I'm sorry about burning that doll you had when we were 6.**

**IkariShinji: Not doll, ACTION FIGURE.**

**ITotallyPwn: Sure, whatever…**

**IkariShinji: Okay look I get it, your sorry.**

**ITotallyPwn: I also apologize for what happened at Summer Camp back in 2010…**

**IkariShinji: I thought we agreed to never mention that time again!?**

**IkariShinji: Okay I understand you've apologized! I forgive you!**

**IkariShinji: Now stop apologizing!**

**ITotallyPwn: Y'know this apologizing thing aint so bad, I should do it every few Years so I can get a clean slate and start all over! :)**

**ITotallyPwn: The clean slate starts now…**

**ITotallyPwn: Yeah last night? A Ghostbusters costume? Seriously?**

**ITotallyPwn: You are such a geek! XD**

**IkariShinji: I'm a geek? You're the one who came as Xena.**

**ITotallyPwn: and looked damn sexy doing it too.**

**ITotallyPwn: So anyways, are we definitely ok? **

**IkariShinji: ……….Not quite.**

**ITotallyPwn: What?**

**IkariShinji: I want my watch back.**

**ITotallyPwn: You're fucking kidding me…**

**

* * *

  
**

**2****nd**** November**

**2:13pm**

**

* * *

  
**

**To: IkariShinji**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**Thanks for the watch. :)**

**It's a bit heavy though; do you think that Asuka used it for weightlifting instead of an accessory?**

_**Sent, today at 2:13pm**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: IkariShinji**

**I had the strangest feeling that Asuka could punch harder after she got the watch…anyway I just heard that the Friday and Saturday before Christmas is School-free, something to do with the Principal I think, I'm not too sure.**

**Anyway you wanna go somewhere? For a Long weekend? Just us two? No parents? Alone?**

_**Sent, today at 2:14pm**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: IkariShinji**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**A Christmas long weekend?**

**You enjoy planning ahead don't you? By 'Somewhere' do you mean the place which you and your (very reluctant) parents invited me to during the summer?**

_**Sent, today at 2:15pm**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: IkariShinji**

**That's exactly the place. :)**

**Only my parents wouldn't be coming this time I'd make sure of it.**

**It would just be us two…alone.**

_**Sent, today at 2:15pm**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: IkariShinji**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**Okay I get it already, we'd be alone. I'd love to come. :)**

**What kind of strings are you going to have to pull with your Mother to get permission for us to stay there…alone?**

_**Sent, today at 2:16pm**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: IkariShinji**

**You have no idea.**

_**Sent, today at 2:16pm**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**Fujioka and Co. Leisure Centres**

**Tokyo-3, 3****rd**** District Branch**

**Dear Mrs Ikari **

**We were pleased to receive your confirming cheque for the Fujioka and Co. Leisure Centres 'Mother and Son Aerobics' Program!**

**As discussed before you have selected the 7-week regime which will take place every Tuesday and Friday at promptly 18:00! Theres no room for bad punctuality in the Fujioka and Co. Leisure Centre schedule so please arrive at least 5 minutes before each class is set to begin!**

**Enclosed is a list of several aerobic items that are required to properly participate in the class, if you choose to follow this list then all these items can be easily purchased at the third Branch Fujioka and Co. Leisure Centre!**

**Enclosed are also a complimentary 2 pack of pairs of legwarmers! Enjoy!**

**We can't wait to see you!**

**From the Fujioka and Co. Family.**

**

* * *

  
**

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: IkariShinji**

**I have to wear Shorts…SHORT shorts.**

_**Sent, today at 2:18pm**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: IkariShinji**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**That's not all too bad, you've got nice legs.**

_**Sent, today at 2:18pm**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: IkariShinji**

**The worst thing is SHE saw the letter…**

_**Sent, today at 2:19pm**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: HorakiHikari, AidaKensuke, SuzuharaTouji**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**Group Activity guys; meet me at that Fujiko Leisure Centre thing at 6 tonight.**

**Kensuke bring your camera. XD**

_**Sent, today at 2:20pm**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**14****th**** November**

**9:31am**

**

* * *

  
**

**To: HorakiHikari**

**From: SuzuharaTouji**

**Theres a free screening of 'Summer Palace' at Kureno's, you know that Media Club in the civic centre? Want to go see it? :D**

_**Sent, today at 9:31am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: SuzuharaTouji**

**From: HorakiHikari**

**NO, for two reasons.**

**1-That film has…adult content.**

**2- I don't want to go anywhere with you thanks.**

**Why won't you just give up?**

_**Sent, today at 9:41am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: HorakiHikari**

**From: SuzuharaTouji**

**I won't give up because I don't want to, simple. ;D  
**

**Took you a while to reply, where you actually considering it this time? :3**

_**Sent, today at 9:42am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**November 21****st**

**6:37pm**

**

* * *

  
**

**ITotallyPwn: How are classes with Mommy? XD**

**IkariShinji: Tiring…I'm all V-Stepped out.**

**ITotallyPwn: ….V-Step?**

**FreudFan_6: All the aggravation is working towards a good cause Shinji!**

**FreudFan_6: Don't give up!**

**ITotallyPwn: Since when is you getting laid a 'good cause'?**

**FreudFan_6: Since Shinji decided to put all his energy into the classes so as to really convince Yui into letting me as you put it 'get laid'.**

**IkariShinji: Sorry Rei but Mom expects 110% in these classes.**

**ITotallyPwn: 110%? Its aerobics not football.**

**IkariShinji: Well Moms really into it, she says that me and her haven't really** '**Bonded' in a while so she's really happy about it.**

**FreudFan_6: If you're Mother could somehow make you crawl back into her Womb I think she would. **

**IkariShinji: ……….**

**ITotallyPwn: Moving away from the subject of V-Steps and wombs….**

**ITotallyPwn: I posted the Application today! X3**

**IkariShinji: Your really serious about Columbia aren't you?**

**FreudFan_6: No, she's serious about attempting to 'Bisexualise' my gay Cousin that's what.**

**ITotallyPwn: Either way Columbia will be a good choice for me, the Columbia Law and Business schools are amazing!**

**FreudFan_6: I understand Law but Business?**

**IkariShinji: Oh God she plans to take over the world threw the Economy…**

**ITotallyPwn: The Entrance Exam will be a sitch for an intellectually superior Minded person like myself, and I don't have to take exams next January like the rest of you losers! XD**

**

* * *

  
**

**November 22****nd**

**8:34am**

**

* * *

  
**

**To: AidaKensuke, YamagishiMayumi **

**From: HorakiHikari**

**Happy One-Month Anniversary! :)**

**I sent flowers! **

_**Sent, today at 8:34am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AidaKensuke **

**From: SuzuharaTouji**

**You made one whole Month man, congrats!**

**Mayumi must have a hell of a lot of patience! XD**

_**Sent, today at 8:35am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: YamagishiMayumi**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**Happy one month anniversary, feels nice doesn't it? :)**

**Don't be scared by Hikari's flowers, that girl will take any chance she gets to send a bouquet. She has the local flower shop on speed dial. **

**Congratulations!**

_**Sent, today at 8:35am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AidaKensuke**

**From: YamagishiMayumi**

**Everyone's making such a fuss, it's a bit embarrassing but their intentions are good so it's quite nice really…..happy One-Month anniversary by the way. :)**

_**Sent, today at 8:37am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: YamagishiMayumi**

**From: AidaKensuke**

**I know right?! They're all just surprised I've been able to keep a Girlfriend this long (an amazing Girlfriend no less). :3**

**B.t.w you're really serious about Kyoto University right? Well I've heard that the Kyoto Institute of technology is quite good so…I might check that out…yeah.**

**Happy one month-er, and to (hopefully) many more! **

_**Sent, today at 8:40am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**16th December**

**11:22am**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**Big Christmas Market today in the park!**

**Wanna go?**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**No, I'm busy.**

**

* * *

  
**

**20****th**** December**

**8:45am**

**

* * *

  
**

**To: MoutouChie-Head Office**

**From: PrincipalHimura **

**Chie-San would you mind phoning the Hospital to make sure that everything is in line for my Operation tomorrow?**

_**Sent, today at 8:45am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: PrincipalHimura**

**From: MoutouChie-Head Office**

**Of course Sir-by the way, just so I know, would you prefer me to call you 'Mam' from Monday?**

_**Sent, today at 8:46am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: MoutouChie-Head Office**

**From: PrincipalHimura**

**If the Operation tomorrow goes right, then yes that would be preferable.**

_**Sent, today at 8:47am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: IkariShinji**

**I'm free!**

**Mom just texted me saying that I didn't have to go to the final class tomorrow! So we can leave in the Morning instead, is that alright?**

_**Sent, today at 8:50am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: IkariShinji**

**From: AyanamiRei**

**That's fine; I don't enjoy driving at night anyway.**

**What time should I be at yours? Do you mind if we meet at your place instead? **

**One reason is because my Parents will attempt to sabotage your car for slowly killing the planet if they see you park outside my Apartment.**

**Another reason is because Hikari's supposed to be dropping by tomorrow morning to say goodbye and she'll attempt to kill you for your unsafe reck of a car and the suggestion that'll I'll be in the passenger seat.**

_**Sent, today at 8:52am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: IkariShinji**

**My car wasn't an unsafe reck until you and Asuka asked to drive it for that Week long Feminists getaway in the summer vacation. **

**Could you be at mine by 10?**

_**Sent, today at 8:53am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**24****th**** December**

**8:35am**

**

* * *

  
**

**To: AyanamiRei**

**From: AsukaLangleySoryu**

**Will you get that 'I've had sex all Weekend and you haven't' smirk off your face!**

**P.S-Did you SEE the Principal? I had no idea Himura was having that sort of Operation! Hair transplants and everything, I had no idea he'd look pretty hot as a woman either. Himura has a bigger rack than Misato!**

_**Sent, today at 8:35am**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**25****th**** December**

**7:02am**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**Good morning!**

**Happy Christmas!! **

**You'll probably be spending the time after school with your family so how about we go out tomorrow instead?Its my Birthday tomorrow after all :D  
**

**Make my Christmas and my Birthday Perfect? Say Yes?**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: BigT**

**I say no. I have cram school after school starting from tomorrow.**

**College Entrance Exams are soon and I'm hoping for Tokyo University.**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT **

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**Tokyo U? You mean in the original Tokyo right? **

**Like someone as super intelligent as you really needs Cram School…**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: BigT**

**Flattery will get you nowhere Touji.**

**

* * *

  
**

**16****th**** January**

**1:13pm**

**

* * *

  
**

**To: Students of Class 12B**

**From: Katsuragi **

**I though it would be highly friendly of me to send all my Class 12B students a little message to say goodbye seeing as how you all use this message service all the time for MANY matters NOT related to school whatsoever. **

**I can read your message history y'know, you guys are lucky I'm such an awesome Sensei that I never told on you kids for the past 3 years. You guys owe me big time. **

**And the perfect way to pay me back is to go into those Exams tomorrow and the day after with the confidence and knowledge that I've attempted to stamp into your feeble heads for 3 years! Seriously do well! I've got money riding on your scores! **

**But, do the best you can do guys. I suppose that's really all I can ask. :)**

**Go out into the big wide world and show them what you're made of kids! It's been…a downright privilege walking into class and seeing your faces every Morning. The Chemist gives me a discount on Prozac because of you guys! I joke I joke…knock them dead guys.**

**Your Awesome Sensei,**

**Katsuragi Misato.**

_**Sent, today at 1:13pm**_

**

* * *

**_**  
**_

**5****th**** March**

**10:54am**

**

* * *

  
**

**Alert! Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text message from **_**The Girl**_**.**

_**Rei where the fuck r u!? **_

_I'm at the lower end of the board Asuka._

**Alert! Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text message from **_**The Girl**_**.**

_**U do remember that your surname starts with A right? I'm pretty sure that your results will be at the top end of the board!**_

_I've already seen my results I'm helping Mayumi look for hers, Kensuke has to do Retakes so shes hoping she's failed too in order to support him. How cute is that!?_

**Alert! Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text message from **_**The Girl**_**.**

_**U already saw your result? How'd you do?**_

_Fantastic of course._

**Alert! Alert!**

**Inbox (1)**

**You have a text message from **_**The Girl**_**.**

_**Bravo WonderGirl, Bravo.**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**6****th**** March**

**2:16pm**

**

* * *

  
**

**Hikari.H: But Americas a really big place!**

**ITotallyPwn: I like big, more space to spread evil. :)**

**ITotallyPwn: And Columbia seems like a very nice place Hikari, they organized a special Entrance Exam for me to take earlier than all the Americans since I need more time to find a place to live and stuff.**

**ITotallyPwn: Face it Hikari, I'm going.**

**Hikari.H: What if you run into a problem at customs or something and you get sent to jail!?**

**ITotallyPwn: My Dads American Hikari Citizenship is easy for me so what reason would Customs have a problem with me? **

**Hikari.H: Shampoo in the carry-on bag?**

**ITotallyPwn: Funny.**

**Hikari.H: But Americas full of scary things and weirdoes!**

**ITotallyPwn: Japan is full of scary things and weirdoes too. We sell Panties in Vending machine form for gods sake...  
**

**Hikari.H: I don't want you to go!**

**ITotallyPwn: I'm touched.**

**ITotallyPwn: I'll miss you.**

**Hikari.H: …….I'll miss you too.**

**

* * *

  
**

**18****th**** March**

**4:47pm**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**Kensuke passed! **

**The Retakes are apparently easier…huh. Anyways, I heard you're definitely going to Tokyo University and that Rei's following you there.**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: BigT**

**You heard correctly, I'm going into the Education program whilst Rei hopes to conquer the Medicine route. And I'm hearing that Shinji's following her like a lovesick puppy. :)**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**Shin's going to Tokyo U?**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: BigT**

**Nope, he's kinda scared of Tokyo University so hes enrolling for the Tokyo University of the Arts instead. They're gonna rent an Apartment together though, Shinji's Mother is going to have a heart attack.**

**I heard you dropped your Athletics Scholarship, why?**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**It was only a half-scholarship; fees would have cost me an arm and a leg. :D**

**And the University was way too far away from my Family and…other people.**

**I think I'll just get a job instead, maybe wait for next years Exams and try to get into a good University…**

**I hear theres plenty of Jobs in Tokyo b.t.w.**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: BigT**

**Yeah I think there is.**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: BigT**

**To: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**That frozen yoghurt place you like is having a half-price special.**

**You wanna go check it out? :)**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: Hikari-Atthespeedoflight**

**To: BigT**

**I'll think about it ok? :)**

**

* * *

  
**

**May 11****th**

**12:31pm**

**

* * *

  
**

**Welcome to the Yahoo Email Service!**

**

* * *

  
**

**From: AsukatheGreat **

**To: NagisaKaworu**

**Hey Columbia Boy!**

**Guess which University acceptance letter I just got this Morning?**

**I'll be seeing YOU in September. :D**

**

* * *

**

**Hi. :)**

**This is the Author whose apologizing IMMENSELY for taking quite a while to put up the second Chapter of 'Messages' when I left of last time I said I was nearly finished and just needed to round it up to and ending and since then I've just been agonizing over said needed ending.**

**All I knew was that I wanted Asuka to properly finish off the Chapter (as seen above) like in Chapter 1 and originally I wanted to include a Halloween Party somehow (I SO want a Ghostbusters costume, I watched the film and I became a real geek about it singing along to the theme tune and everything...'I aint scared of no ghost') so there was a whole fortnight I spent worrying about the story without actually writing anything at all. **

**Thankfully I was inspired once again by watching my collection of anime, I rewatched my NGE DVDs and I finally got to watch Rebuild of Evangelion 1.0 with english subtitles on Veoh so my passion was refueled! X3 I also got the 1st 'Ouran Host Club' DVD about a week ago so I got Comedy-Fueled and raring to write again! *Determined face***

**So, yeah I'm sorry it took so long but I guess what matters is that its up now right? *dodges thrown objects* yeah...**

**This Chapter is certainly longer then the first one but I'm not all to sure if its funnier...I can definetly say that its earned its 'T' rating however and there are some lines that bring an instant grin to my face 'And I'm sorry for what happened at Summer Camp back in 2010' just what DID happen at Summer Camp? :D**

**So please do review your likes, hates and rates! Critism is welcomed! **

**I'm guessing that the last message of tthis chapter implys a 3rd right? I'm not too sure yet to be honest, seeing as how I haven't really sorted out a proper storyline for it...but Asuka in New York would be very fun to write and I'd enjoy writing Kaowru and maybe an OC or two into the picture more. Depending on feedback from this Chapter I think that a 3rd Chapter is quite possible though...I just need to watch some Woody Allen films and other New Yorken stuff besides 'RENT'. B)**

**On a final note...did you SEE the trailer for Rebuild of Evangelion 2.0 You can (not) advance!?! X3**

**Cheerio. :)  
**


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